Diametric Disturbance

June Already?

2008-06-04T21:16:00.001-06:00

The latest and greatest...

Over the last few months, we've worked with Kayley's teacher, a school psychologist, and a family therapist in attempting to find a definitive answer as to whether Kayley has ADHD. While there is no definitive answer possible, as it's impossible to see brain chemistry in action, all the "experts" are quite certain she has ADHD. In a sense, I feel relieved to a certain degree because now we know what we're dealing with and for me, it's always been easier when I can put a label on things. We're still seeing a family therapist once a week, and probably will continue that schedule for a couple more months at least. Our visit with the pediatrician is later this month and we'll see what he says about a double-blind medication study. If Kayley ends up taking meds, I'm leaning toward Strattera at this point because it's a newer, stimulant-free drug that is showing great promise in some kids. We'll see what the doctor thinks and weigh our options when the time comes.

Kayley was lucky enough to be offered a spot at the Pocatello Community Charter School. We put her name on the waiting list when we first arrived in Idaho and they called last week to offer her a spot for the upcoming school year. We visited the school again today for registration, met her "crew leader" or teacher, saw her classroom, toured the school, etc. It really is a phenomenal place and I'm incredibly excited for her to have the chance to attend. It'll be a different environment for her -- mixed grade classrooms, lots of fieldwork, school uniforms -- but they do soooooo many great things with the kids, I think she'll love it once she gets adjusted. As an example of the really cool things they do, get this! In the coming schoolyear, the third grade "crew" will spend a week camping in Yellowstone National Park learning about the ecosystem there. I was completey wow'ed (and jealous!)

We had Jesse's second MRI done in Salt Lake City in April and, whaddyaknow? His brain is perfectly normal according to their neurology team! Woo hoo! Turns out, after looking at the MRI scan he had done in Omaha, the SLC team said the first MRI was normal, too. While I am thrilled that he's healthy, I'm incredibly frustrated that we went through a year of tests, expenses, and worry over an MRI that had been misdiagnosed back in Omaha. So... where do we go from here? We're happy we have a healthy boy and are trying to move on with our lives but are also exploring the possibility of at least trying to recoup the medical costs we incurred after the initial incorrect diagnosis. More to come...

Obama will be our next President and, as a supporter from day one, I am thrilled about that. Will Clinton be the VP nominee? Hmmm....

We just got back from our first "fun" return trip to Omaha. It was nice to see our families again, but I was sick the entire week which put quite a damper on things. Not until the evening before we left did I feel better. Bummer. I was so disappointed that I didn't get to see more folks, not even my best friend, so I left feeling pretty sad. But, after the ugly, icky Omaha humidity, I was ready to come back to Idaho where it's nice and dry. Aaaah.

More later...

overwhelming

2008-03-07T22:36:00.003-06:00

I'm feeling overwhelmed as of late. With the move to Idaho, a new job, and the death of Dave's father all within the last 3 months, along with trying to balance the financial responsibilities of two homes in two cities and the health problems of our children, there are days that it just seems like too much to handle.

I'm fighting to keep my depression at bay. I tend to isolate myself from others, especially during the times when I need the most help. I've been in therapy long enough to know that I need to take some time for myself or talk to someone or make a change in my life to enhance my ability to deal with "this stuff" but it's difficult to do, even when I know what I need to do. My therapist in Omaha strongly encouraged me to find a support network here and, slowly but surely, I am getting there. It's tough because we're not surrounded by the old safety net anymore and, while we're enjoying ourselves in Idaho, it's really difficult to get through some of the hardest days when you feel so alone.

We're going to have Kayley evaluated for ADD because she is struggling badly in school. Dave and I are having a great deal of difficulty relating to Kayley right now (actually, we've struggled with it for several years) because neither one of us ever had trouble with school. We loved school, loved to read and write and learn... even as adults, we consistently thirst for new knowledge. Not Kayley... everything is too hard or takes too long or is too boring and she has absolutely no interest in learning, reading, writing, etc. We just don't understand that mentality and quickly lose our patience with her. We have a lot to learn and are trying hard to make a connection with her so we can help her succeed and feel good about what and how she is doing. But... we are having a tough go of it.

We need to take Jesse to Salt Lake City for an MRI to check the condition/progression of the brain disorder that he was diagnosed with about a year ago. We don't have an appointment set up yet, but it will likely be in the next couple of weeks. We're also having him tested for Celiac Disease (an intolerance to gluten) this week and should have preliminary results soon... if Celiac is confirmed, we'll have another challenge to overcome, but at least it's something we can deal with. He has a heart murmur as well, but his pediatrician is simply going to monitor it for now as he thinks it will resolve with time.

Zach is healthy and happy and trying to overcome the potty-training hurdle. He turns 4 later this month and we'd love to have him fully trained by then, but I'm not certain if we'll make it or not. He's trying though. As our middle child, and with the other kids' issues, I'm worried that Zach is feeling neglected. We spend so much of our time focusing on Kayley's behavior and schoolwork and Jesse's health concerns, that I'm afraid he is overshadowed at times. He's got a beautiful soul and is a wonderful boy -- I worry that we don't do enough to nurture him.

If you have a spare moment this week, please send some positive thoughts our way... especially for our kids.

Are You a Child of the 70's?

2008-02-02T00:47:00.000-06:00

I received the following in an email from my sister today. While I can't claim to have written it myself, I thought it was simply too funny not to share. Hold on to your butts and enjoy the ride...

Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. While my wife's brother and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this:

A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking.

I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:

Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom:

There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes. The clothes are fantastic.

Here's how to get your ass kicked in elementary school:

Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.

Here's how to get your ass kicked in high school:

This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Here's how to get your ass kicked on the golf course:

This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block . Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against ass-rapery.

Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:

If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "no-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.

Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach:

He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.

How to get your ass kicked in a meeting:

If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.

How to get your ass kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day :

Dear god in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.

As does your search for chest hair.

And this -- Seriously. No words.

Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What. The. F***. I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.

Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?

I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled, "Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best."

And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and a blonde girl with a look on her face that says, "I love the way your junk fights against that fabric."

Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:

I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors. That said, I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:

Man, that's sexy.

check it out

2008-01-27T21:52:00.000-06:00

A new blog, written by the love o' my life, has hit the blogosphere. Check it out here.

day one

2008-01-20T20:21:00.000-06:00

More about our move from Omaha to Pocatello...

We had planned to leave Omaha on Thursday, December 20, but we didn't hit the road until Sunday, December 23. Why the delay? Loading the moving truck took waaaaaay longer than we anticipated, we were trying to figure out what to do with all the stuff we couldn't fit in the moving truck, we still needed to spend some time with Dave's family, and we were just too exhausted to drive.

After losing my wallet and looking everywhere for it (but never finding it), we finally got underway late Sunday morning. I was crossing my fingers for an easy, police-free trip, as I had no wallet, no credit cards, no ID, no drivers license, nada. Ugh, what a way to start the trip.

Dave drove the Penske rental truck with his Blazer in tow behind while I drove the van with three kids and two dogs. Luckily, Dave agreed to take the cat in the moving truck with him. I'm not sure who had it worse. :)

Anyway, we had decided that we would stay together on the road, at least within a couple miles of each other. To be on the safe side, however, we had purchased long-range walkie-talkies a few weeks earlier so we could at least talk to one another if the need arose. I, of course, was way too anxious and impatient to stay behind Dave and the pokey rental truck, so I pulled ahead of him a few miles. Stopping at an I-80 rest area, I figured he'd catch up to us and we'd be back together again, right? Well...

Lesson One: when you agree to stick together on the road, stick together... really... stick together.

Lesson Two: life isn't going anywhere... don't be in such a hurry. Be patient!

Dave caught up and passed us while I was taking the dogs out to pee. I knew that we'd be back on the road shortly and we'd catch up to him in no time, so I didn't worry whatsoever. After the dogs peed, the boys had their diapers changed, Kayley and I used the facilities, and I stretched my legs a bit, we were ready to go. Huffing down the road at 75mph, I thought I would catch up to Dave within a few minutes since he had just passed us a short while earlier. After a bit, however, I still didn't see Dave and thought to myself, "Wow, he must really be making good time with that big yellow moving truck!" I tried reaching Dave on the walkie-talkies, to no avail, as we were too far out of range. (Long-range, my ass.) I increased my speed to about 85mph in an effort to catch up with him. Heh heh... little did I know that Dave had already pulled off at an exit to refuel.

Remember when I mentioned that I lost my wallet? As my "Low Fuel" warning light came on, I remembered that I had no cash... no credit cards... nothing with which to buy gas. And... Dave (who had all the cash and credit cards!) was still nowhere in sight. Crap. I was able to make it a few more miles down the road to an exit with a gas station. I figured I would simply wait there and continue to try raising him on the walkie-talkies. Again, nada.

I waited at the gas station for about 45 minutes before realizing that, if for some reason Dave was behind me on the Interstate that whole time, he would be going by my exit soon. The walkie-talkies weren't working for shit and he would never see where I was parked or know that I had even taken that exit. Sigh.

I decided to head back out to the Interstate and park on the shoulder of the entrance ramp. If Dave were going to pass me, he would at least see me sitting there. Besides, I figured I would have better range with the walkie-talkies out on the road anyway. So... the dogs and kids and I sat on the entrance ramp... and we sat there... and we sat there... and we sat there. I was trying to reach Dave via the radios (again, long-range, my ass!) every couple of minutes, but the only answer I ever received was silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Gettin' the picture?

It was getting dark and it was cold, so I had to keep the van running so the kids could stay warm. As we sat and waited, I watched the dashboard message center count down the miles I had left before I hit empty. 12 miles to E... 11 miles to E... 10 miles to E. I was really starting to worry because we had been sitting on the entrance ramp shoulder for nearly 1 1/2 hours and still there was no sign of Dave.

I played several scenarios and weighed our options over and over in my head. I could get out and try to flag down another car to help us. But... what would they do? I didn't have any money to offer someone if they stopped. Besides, there are always those crazy axe-murdering types looking to prey on a Mom and her scared kids. Scratch that idea. I could try to make it to the next exit where we could at least hang out in a truck stop or diner or gas station. We'd be warm, off the road, and relatively safe. But... I didn't know how far down the road the next exit was. What if we didn't make it and got stranded on the Interstate with no gas to run the heater? OK, scratch that idea, too. Alright, I got it... we're not going to panic, we're not! We'll just sit here on the shoulder and idle the van for as long as we can. When it runs out of gas, we'll all just huddle up together in the back seat, cover up with a blanket, eat some snacks, and wait for someone to come. Someone would come to help, right? Anyone? Dave?

Lesson Three: always be aware of your surroundings. Know exactly where you're at, know where the next exit is and how far you have to go to get there. Be aware, be aware, be aware.

After what seemed like an eternity, Kayley said she heard a crackle on the walkie-talkie. Silly Mom didn't believe her -- I mean, after 1.5 hours of trying (unsuccessfully) to get Dave on the radio every few minutes, why would I think he would be in the area at that point? I just knew that he had gone on to Wyoming, thinking all along that we were ahead of him and having no clue that we were stranded behind him somewhere. "Mom, I heard something on the walkie-talkie!" Kayley shrieked. Uh-hmm.

"Daddy, is that you?" she shouted into the radio. Crackle, crackle, snap, and pop... there was Dave on the other end. He tracked us down and I had not ever felt so worried and angry and thrilled and scared all at the same time. He led the way to the next exit, assuring me that I had enough gas to make it, and I swore I wouldn't let him or that big yellow moving truck out of my sight for the rest of the trip.

Lesson Four: always make sure you have some money when you're traveling... always, always, always.

Lesson Five: always, and I mean always, have a plan to contend with emergencies. If you get separated from your party, what will you do? Where will you go? What time will you meet? What will you do if your plans fall through? Do you have a backup plan? If you can imagine the worst that might happen, it might happen. What will you do if the worst happens?

Lesson Six: pack a car emergency kit. Sure, you may never need it... but, what if you do? Will you be prepared?

In the end, we made it to Laramie, Wyoming after 10 or so hours on the road. Initially, we had planned to stop earlier in the evening, but had lost so much time with the aforementioned fiasco we thought we ought to make up a bit of time and mileage. Anyway, by the time we hit the Wyoming border, Dave and I were both so excited to be out of Nebraska, we decided to keep going. It was dark, the kids were asleep, there wasn't much traffic on the roads, so we figured we'd keep on keepin' on. It was a long and lesson-filled day, but we both felt terrific that night when our heads hit the pillows.

Update

2008-01-11T19:58:00.000-06:00

Wow! I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted anything here. A lot has happened since August...

After years of postponement, Dave and I finally decided to take the plunge and make a move out West. We've wanted to live in or near the mountains for as long as I can remember and, for one reason or another, we always found an excuse not to follow our dream. Finally, after a lot of soul-searching, I tossed the idea out to Dave and said, "Why do we keep wasting time? We're not getting any younger, you know. Why don't we just pick up and go?" So started our latest adventure.

We knew we wanted to live close to a University in the Rocky Mountain states. We researched a number of important factors -- local economy, job growth and unemployment rates, crime, housing prices, cost of living, schools for the kids, etc. -- and developed a "short list" of potential cities to explore further. At every turn, Pocatello, Idaho came out on top.

We continued researching Pocatello and surrounding cities in Idaho and fell more in love with the prospect of moving each day. Although we hadn't planned on moving until Spring or Summer 2008, I started looking for jobs right away since it can take months sometimes to find a decent opportunity. Idaho has a central application registry for state jobs and I submitted my information there as well.

Lo and behold, I got a call at the start of September... Idaho State University had seen my application online and were interested in talking with me about a potential job. During the next few weeks, I had a first, second, and third interview and finally received a job offer on October 31.

The mad dash to move our family to Idaho began, as I was to start my new position at ISU on January 2. We had about 6 weeks to get the house fixed up and ready to sell, pack and load our stuff, move our family 1100 miles, find a place to live, unload and unpack our stuff, and get settled in for a few days of rest before I started work.

Whew! We made it, but it was utterly exhausting. I think we were running on auto-pilot most of the time... we just kept plugging away until the big day arrived. We left Omaha a couple days later than planned, on December 22, and arrived in Pocatello around 9:30pm Christmas Eve night. I'll post more details about the move in another entry... let's just say that the move was definitely an adventure and leave it at that for now.

More to come soon! From Pocatello, signing off...

my vent: our old crotchety neighbor

2007-08-24T05:40:00.000-06:00

He has called us at 10:02pm if our dogs were still outside in the yard barking. "It's after 10:00! Can't you bring those dogs in?!" Sure, Ed, sure.

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Once, I had to make a late night trip to the ER with one of our kids. I left the dogs outside in case they had to pee while I was gone... no one likes a big puddle of piss in the middle of their living room. Anywho... it was around 12:30am when we finally returned home. Of course, as I'm getting out of the truck and carrying our little guy inside, the dogs are yapping. Once I get inside, I let the dogs in as soon as I can. As I'm bringing the dogs inside, the phone rings... guess who?

"I can't get any sleep with those dogs barking! You've got to take them in at 10!" he insists.

"Ed, I'm sorry the dogs woke you up. I just got home and brought them in as soon as I could," I replied. Needless to say, I was really biting my tongue and trying to be pleasant and neighborly, but it was difficult.

"Well, why didn't you bring them in earlier? Why do they have to stay outside so late?" he asked.

"They don't typically stay out so late, Ed. But, I had to take our son to the Emergency Room tonight and I wasn't sure how long I would be gone. I didn't want them to piss on the floor, so I left them outside. Again, I'm sorry if they woke you up. I'm sure you understand that the dogs were not my first concern tonight," I responded. (Biting my tongue really hard at this point and feeling the stress of the night's events building inside me.)

"I just don't understand why I have to keep calling you about this," he barked. (No pun intended.)

"You don't have to keep calling, Ed, and honestly I wish you wouldn't. I made a trip to the ER tonight which is why the dogs were out so late. I thought Zach was really sick and I'm sorry I didn't take the time to consider your needs over my son's," I barked back.

"Well, is Zach okay?" he asked.

"Yes, thank goodness. It's nothing serious," I said.

"Good. Just keep the dogs inside at night, will ya?" he asked before hanging up. Grrrrr.

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Occasionally, hubby and I get to venture out into the world by ourselves. Without the little anklebiters along, we can stay out later than we normally would. Of course, as mentioned above, no one wants to step in a big puddle of pee, so we usually leave the dogs outside while we're gone. One particular night, we got home about 11:30pm and as our feet hit the steps on our front porch, Ed opens his bedroom window and hollars out, "You guys have to keep those dogs quiet! They start barking and then our dogs start barking and I can't get any sleep!"

Will do, Ed. Sorry, Ed. (Kiss my ass, Ed, is what I'm really thinking.)

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We foster bassets and beagles that have been rescued. Our first foster dog was a rambunctious basset hound named Humphrey. Humphrey was a 10 month old pup who liked to play and romp and bark. Our dog, Ripley, is an old lady by comparison and most certainly does not like to play and romp and bark. Her lack of interest in Humphrey's antics only made him try to get her attention that much more. So... Humphrey is carrying on one evening when Ed comes out of his house wearing his pajamas.

"Stacey! Stacey! Take those dogs inside, will ya?" he yells across the fence.

"Yeah, I can take them inside when I go in," I replied. I glance at the time and note that it is only 9:30pm.

"Well, it's after 10 and that dog just keeps barking. I'm tired of hearing it," he says.

"Ed, it's not after 10 yet... it's only 9:30," I said.

"Look, I don't feel good and I'm trying to get some rest, but I can't with those dogs barking. Can't you just take them inside please?" he asks.

"Fine, I'll take them inside, Ed. This is getting ridiculous!" I snap as I go in the house with the dogs.

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FINAL STRAW! This afternoon, my two oldest kids were playing in the backyard. They were screaming and laughing and carrying on -- just what kids are supposed to do, right? Apparently not. My children were told not to scream anymore because the noise really bothered Ed.

Shut your fucking window then, if you don't like it. It's 3pm in the afternoon and if my kids want to play together in their own backyard and if they want to scream their bloody little heads off, they damn sure are going to do just that.

I've simply had enough of his bitching and moaning and complaining about the dogs (of which some complaints I truly can understand). Now he seems to be moving on to my children. I'll tell you what, jackoff, leave my kids the hell alone. If you have an issue with my kids, you come talk to me... you most certainly are not their father and you are most certainly not welcome to tell them to be quiet and quit screaming.

THEY ARE CHILDREN, FOR GOD'S SAKE! THEY ARE GOING TO SCREAM! AND IF YOU THINK THEIR SCREAMING IS BOTHERSOME, JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEIR MOTHER!

Okay, so I probably wouldn't say those words exactly, but you get the jist. I've had it with Ed, I've just had it with him. Again, I willfully acknowledge that we have inadvertently left the dogs out after 10pm and, yep, you guessed it -- they barked. I understand this is an annoyance and I understand the concept of quiet hours. I don't have a problem with that and will accept responsibility for being an inconsiderate neighbor and pet owner at times.

But, give me a break already. There are worse things in the world than a barking dog or screaming, playing child. Aren't there? Am I being unreasonable? Do I not care enough? Sheesh... he's tired of the noise coming from our yard and I'm tired of the noise coming from his mouth.

So, Ed... shut yer hole.

Good Amidst Evil

2007-08-24T01:14:00.001-06:00

Usually, I feel very distanced from the violence in the rest of the world. For me, that is a good thing I suppose because I don't think I could live another day if I felt a raw connection to the suffering and senselessness that surround us.

Sometimes, however a particular story breaks through the wall I've built around myself, touches my soul, and affects me in a profound, lasting way. This is one of those stories.

This video clip moved me, angered me, and broke my heart and I couldn't keep from sobbing as I watched. This could be one of my little boys... in fact, he reminds me of Zachary in some ways. I can't remember feeling this much heartache over a story in a very long time.

When I read this follow-up piece, I cried again... only this time, the tears were joyful and my heart was filled with hope. There is still good in the world. Even in our darkest hours, the light of love and compassion and kindness shine through.

We Have Sex...

2007-08-01T21:02:00.000-06:00

because it feels good, according to a study in the August edition of Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Duh.

I Think I Could Smash Her Face In

2007-06-22T23:42:00.001-06:00

I'm not a violent person by nature, but tonight I am so disgusted and angry... no, not angry... rageful is a better word, that I could smash her fucking face in. Who, you ask? A fucking crazy lady that lives two houses North of us.

Apparently, about a month ago as my 7-year old daughter rode her bike up and down the sidewalk, the red-haired crazy lady was on her porch watching Kayley ride by. She walked from her porch to the driveway next to her car and Kayley stopped, thinking that perhaps she was going to talk to her. (Note, the crazy lady had helped Kayley once previously when she took a spill on her bike, so Kayley thought she was a pretty nice person.) Anyway...

The crazy lady proceeded to lift her nightgown/housecoat/mumu, whatever the fuck she was wearing, and exposed her naked self to my daughter. She apparently was rambling on and on about things Kayley couldn't remember and finally said something to the effect of, "Go ahead and call the police. Now you better get home!" Kayley, scared to death, rode her bike straight home and came inside.

Kayley was terrified to tell us what happened because she thought we would be angry with her for some reason. Instead, thankfully, she confided in her Aunt Renee tonight who, in turn, told me. Kayley and I then talked for a long time and I was finally able to convince her that it was okay to tell me what happened. She was trembling, scared to death, knees pulled up to her chest, hands covering her face... it just broke my heart.

I called the police and filed a report for lewd conduct. Unfortunately, for one reason or another, there is very little they can do at this point. They indicated they would increase patrols in the area and advised to avoid contact with the crazy lady - DUH - and to call them if there were additional problems so they could intervene. I truly understand that their hands are tied, but it still pisses me off.

The crazy lady is the "black sheep" of our block: she's had a registered sex offender living in the house before (but he is no longer there), her son is a juvenile delinquent who has vandalized houses and cars along our street, she regularly screams at her dog which she keeps tied up in the backyard, screams at her son, calls him an idiot and a fucking moron (among other things)... she truly is mentally unstable and it would be a miracle to ever have a normal conversation with her.

Hubby said that this only reinforces the fact that she is sick and needs some help. While I'm a definite proponent of getting help with mental illnesses and assisting those less fortunate, getting her help is the last thing on my mind tonight. Unless, of course, helping her means crushing her face with a cinder block.

You can bet that I am going to watch her like a hawk from now on and the minute I see something out of the ordinary, I'm calling the cops. For Christ's sake, we live across the street from an Elementary School and have kids all up and down our street... if she's done this to my child, I'm sure there are or will be others. I will be watching, you crazy red-haired bitch. Fucking fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Impact Your World

2007-06-21T22:14:00.000-06:00

Mahatma Gandhi once said, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." I love that quote so much that it has become my "personal mission statement." When I think of those words, I am moved to take action instead of wallowing in bitterness, anger, fear, or disappointment about the shitty state of things in life. I know that I, alone, cannot save the world. But, if enough people take action to make the world a better place, we can accomplish something tremendous.

Check out this site for some inspiration and ways that you can step up and make a difference.

Congressional Pork

2007-06-21T21:47:00.000-06:00

From Anderson Cooper's ac360blog, written by Drew Griffin, a CNN correspondent:

We've been reporting on all the debate over earmark requests. At issue is when and how members of Congress would tell the American people what they've requested.

Many of their projects are worthwhile, at least in the districts where they are needed: road projects, funding for a library, etc...

But then again, a lot of those earmarks are really just good old-fashioned congressional pork. We've told you about a few: bridges to nowhere, and renovations at a fancy Florida hotel, even a $500,000 facelift for a ski lift in Alaska.

Before Democrats came to power in the recent election, they vowed to fix the broken earmark process. They promised complete transparency. No secret spending, no backroom deals, and presumably no more bridges to nowhere.

Wisconsin Democrat David Obey, head of the House Appropriations Committee, even said on the house floor that he is "trying and so is our leadership to reduce earmarks by at least 50 percent."

Watchdog groups have told me the best way to reduce earmark requests (requests for your tax money) is to expose them early and often. The theory is that a member of Congress would think twice about what he or she is requesting, if the request itself would be made public.

Enter our intrepid interns. Their task: Call every member of congress and ask them to hand over their earmark requests.

After three days of actually calling each and every House office, 34 members of congress -- just 34 -- sent us their earmark requests.

But since then, a wave of pressure has apparently changed some minds. Our report caught the attention of political bloggers demanding Congress release its requests, The Chicago Tribune ran an editorial asking why members of the Illinois delegation were being so secretive, and today, Barack Obama raised the stakes in the presidential race by being the first in the race to release his requests.

Our results as of this writing:
45 have turned over their requests.
68 flat out refused.
6 told us they did not request any earmarks.
But the majority, 316, never responded.
Want to see how your Representative responded? You can check them out in our web listing. And do me a favor. If your congressperson hasn't gotten back to us, you might want to send them a note asking why. After all, it's their plan for your money. Shouldn't you know what they want to do with it?

I have to agree that some of the earmarked funds are for worthwhile causes, but the vast majority of projects are nothing but wasteful spending crap. Sigh.

A Meandering Sadness

2007-06-18T23:31:00.000-06:00

I feel sad. Sometimes, I feel relieved. Other times, angry. Often, empty. But, mostly... just sad.

Sad. We have decided not to have anymore children and I am grieving. An incredibly monumental decision for me, as I have wanted a large family with lots of children for as long as I can remember, and for most of my life have struggled with infertility. I am incredibly lucky to have three beautiful children and perhaps I should simply be happy with what I have. Yet, I am so in love with my children and crave the magic and wonder of the other "little people" that have yet to stir in my womb.

Relieved. Pregnancy has never been easy for me - diabetes, insulin resistance, high blood pressure, being overweight, etc. With bedrest and hospitalizations, pregnancy has never been easy for my husband either. I am tired some days, very tired, and it's a relief to think that I don't have to worry about an unborn child's health and well-being, whether we'll make it to term, if I'm doing all that I can to ensure a healthy baby, and trying to take extra-special care of myself. I am 36 years old and in some ways, I feel like I'm too old to be bearing babies. I know women have had children well into their 40's (or even later in life) but I don't want to be one of those women. It's exciting to think about all the other things I can do in life now that I no longer have to put things on hold to have more children.

Angry. I want more kids, dammit. We make such beautiful babies and why shouldn't we have another one? If we're this blessed already, who's to say that another child won't bless us even more? I acknowledge that my husband is scared... he thinks I am too old, that we're simply playing Russian Roulette and tempting fate to have another one, that my health is too poor, that I'll die and leave him a single dad raising four kids. But, it's my body and I think I know my body better than anyone and I'm telling you that my body can handle another pregnancy. I am angry that he doesn't share the same dreams I do, that I am being robbed of this one.

Empty. While cleaning the house this week and sorting out belongings we no longer need, I struggled with some of the "baby things" I came across. My breast pump that allowed me to feed and nurture my two boys, baby bottles, bibs, baby clothes my daughter wore, and toys that my youngest son has outgrown. If we have no more children, it is pointless to keep all these things. They'll never be used, they'll never be needed. What's the point of keeping them? As I packed them in boxes to be sold or given away, I felt an overwhelming emptiness come over me like a bottomless, dark pit in my heart.

Sad. And we're back to sadness once again. My therapist tells me that I simply need to allow myself time to grieve -- grieve the loss of my unborn children. I know she's right and that it will simply take some time to work through my feelings and that I'm right in the midst of a really ugly place at the moment. This, too, shall pass... isn't that what they say? Until then, I will continue to shed my tears and try to let go of my children that have yet to be. I ache for you, my babies.

A Few Moments of Pure Joy

2007-06-10T03:24:00.000-06:00

Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting outside in the swing on our patio watching my two oldest kids run through the sprinkler. Our smallest guy was motoring around the patio, discovering sticks and rocks and ants, full of amazement and wonder and smiles.

Zach and Kayley were so incredibly happy, squealing and shrieking when the cold water sprayed their backs as the stream of H2O moved on by. A warm breeze was blowing, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and life was good. For just a few fleeting moments, I had no other cares in the world and was simply engrossed in the play and freedom of childhood. I remember thinking, "This is so surreal," because all seemed to move in slow motion.

There will come a day when Zach and Kayley don't want to play together anymore... she'll be a moody teenager who thinks her younger brother is so uncool and he'll one day realize that older girls, especially his sister, are gross or boring. Jesse will have lost the innocence that he has now and the fascination with the simple things in life will, at some point, likely be brushed aside for bigger, better, and faster. For me, those moments of pure, surreal bliss that I experienced today while watching those beautiful children play and simply enjoy life and laughter will remain.

At least until the Alzheimers kicks in.

troubled

2007-06-07T00:53:00.000-06:00

My heart is troubled. I seem to have little tolerance for those that are ill or injured or hurting in some way when they are crabby, grumpy, snappish asses. Rant on, troubled heart, rant on.

I understand that you're aching or hurting or sick and perhaps you just don't feel like being a nice person sometimes. But, don't take your shit out on me or others that care for you. I refuse to allow myself to be treated poorly by anyone, even if you feel like crap. Simply because your life might be miserable at the moment doesn't mean that you have to make other people's lives miserable too. Like my mother taught me, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Just keep to your fucking self and leave everyone else alone until you're ready to treat people decently.

Perhaps I am not intolerant of everyone that is ill or injured or hurting, but am of those closest to me. I'm troubled by my feelings because I've given serious thought to working with the terminally ill, dying, sick, oppressed, or downtrodden people of our society. They, no doubt, are likely to be crabby, grumpy, and snappish asses so how do I expect to cope with that? I think they are certainly justified for feeling bitchy, so perhaps I would judge them less harshly. When your life is a piece of shit, I think you have a right to be pissed off at the world or God or yourself. But, are you justified in being shitty to others? I will have to give that one some thought.

When I stay home from work for a fucking week to help take care of the kids so a certain husband doesn't have to, so a certain partner can get his sleep, so a certain man I know can rest and let his hurting back/neck heal and I spend the week wiping poopy asses and picking up toys and half-eaten PB&J sandwiches or catching up on 3 weeks worth of dirty laundry that had piled up, dusting furniture that hadn't been dusted for months, organizing clutter, separating things we can keep from things we can give away, listening to moans and groans and sighs and grunts and complaints, asking throughout the week what it is I can do for you or what you need that I can provide with no response or suggestions or appreciation or thanks, etc., don't fucking snap at me one morning because you feel like shit. Don't snap at your kids because you feel like shit. If you feel like shit, please retreat to your recliner or the bedroom and keep your shittiness to your fucking self until you can treat everyone in your family decently. That is all I ask.

A top headline... really?

2007-06-05T01:26:00.000-06:00

An AP Top Headline:

Hilton Well After Night in Jail

My God, where are the priorities in this world? Homeless people are sleeping in alleyways, children are malnourished and ill-educated, innocent people are murdered, raped, or driven from their homes, kids are hooked on meth, soldiers are dying, and one of our top headlines is that a millionaire heiress is doing well after spending her first night in jail.

C'mon.

infecting the world

2007-05-30T11:29:00.000-06:00

Do people not realize the deadly potential of spreading extremely-resistant tuberculosis? Obviously a dumb-ass rhetorical question; a US man has been forcibly quarantined because he failed to follow directions from medical doctors and ignored instructions from the CDC.

Instead of staying put and receiving treatment for the disease, he instead decided to leave the US on a trans-Atlantic flight and travel to Greece and Italy. Because he was placed on a no-fly list that restricts individuals from entering the US, he flew instead to the Czech Republic and then to Canada before crossing the border by car and re-entering the US.

Although the likelihood of infecting others with XDR-TB (extremely drug-resistant TB) are low, the possibility still exists. Rogue, self-centered, thoughtless, inconsiderate sons-of-bitches like this piss me off because they put the entire world at risk. Fuck the rest of the world, I have to get married. Fuck the fact that I am breaking the law, I have to get back home. Fuck the possibility that I could spread a deadly, currently-incurable disease to millions of people and be the source of a pandemic that could take the lives of innocent people, I have my own life to think about. Fuck him.

it's senseless for children to die

2007-05-29T22:30:00.000-06:00

In Hudson Oaks, Texas, a young mother hung herself and three of her children, ages 2, 3, and 5. A fourth child, an 8-month old baby, was also found dangling in a closet with the rest of her family, but managed to survive. It is believed that the mother may have been depressed.

I understand depression. I can empathize with a depressed mother who is struggling to make it through each day. I sympathize with those that cannot find their way out of the darkness and have lost all hope and will to live. While I know what this mother did was horribly wrong, I can understand her wish to die.

Although I understand, I mourn the babies that have died as a result of depression. This kind of situation has happened before... Andrea Yates drowned her five children in 2001; Deanna Laney beat her two young sons to death with stones in 2003; also in 2003, Lisa Ann Diaz drowned her daughters; in 2004, Dena Schlosser severed her 10-month-old daughter's arms with a kitchen knife; in 1998, Melissa Drexler gave birth to a baby at her High School prom and promptly killed the newborn before returning to the dance. Likewise, there are children that have been removed from a home that was dangerous for one reason or another, only to be shuffled from foster home to foster home and later killed by a stranger that feigned love. And let us not forget the children who have died at the hands of other children.

These are just a few of the children that have died needlessly, senselessly, and prematurely. I often look at their faces and wonder how they might look today, had they been given the opportunity to grow up; I wonder how they might have impacted and changed the world had they been given the opportunity to live; I think about how horrific their final moments on this Earth might have been; I wonder how they might have felt as the person who was supposed to love, cherish, and protect them instead watched them die; I wonder if these babies asked, "Why?"

I am filled with rage that they died too soon; I am sickened that they were robbed of their lives, that the world was robbed of their magic and promise; my heart aches for them. Look at these babies... tell them you're sorry no one protected them... tell them that they are loved... and do not forget.

o'donnell vs...

2007-05-28T14:16:00.000-06:00

Who gives a fat fuck about Rosie O'Donnell and who she is sparring with now?

There are people dying in the world, children are sick, single mothers are struggling to put food on the table for their kids, governments are conspiring, and innocent civilians are being tortured and killed.

It's fucking amazing to me what makes the front page in the news today.

Tids and Bits

2007-05-08T00:41:00.000-06:00

Generous supporters of Big Brothers Big Sisters were able to raise over $150,000 this year during our most important fundraiser of the year, Bowl for Kids' Sake. I am so pleased to have been a part of it and am proud of our team for caring enough to seek out donations and bowling with me on Sunday. Dave, Brett, Renee, Cami, and Tracey -- you have my admiration and appreciation. You're good people... thank you!

The tomb of King Herod has been found by a Hebrew University Professor. Herod's tomb was found at a site called Herodium in the Judean Desert.

In looking at the website for our local Humane Society, I was amazed at the number of black or black/white dogs that are available for adoption. The proportion of black/white dogs to the entire number of dogs waiting to be adopted is crazy. It's been that way for weeks. Tonight, there were 46 dogs listed; of those, 24 dogs are black or black/white -- 52%! So many black labs are waiting for homes which surprises me because it's always been such a popular breed. Just some interesting (or not) observations.

Attention fellow diabetics! A Hong Kong company has invented a new method to test blood glucose levels without having to prick your finger. Apparently, the invention uses near-infrared rays that penetrate your skin and targets a blood vessel. The rays then measure the amount of glucose in the bloodstream and return a reading in about 10 seconds. The new unit is still undergoing testing, with very low blood sugars, currently but is expected to be commercially available in about a year. Hmm. I love it.

We're going to become Fosters for the Basset and Beagle Rescue of the Heartland organization. Someday, I would love to form my own rescue non-profit for the sake of homeless and unwanted hounds -- Beagles, Bassets, Foxhounds, Coonhounds -- but for now, Fostering will have to do.

I guess that's it for now. 'Night all!

Master Race

2007-05-06T20:53:00.000-06:00

I found this story to be amazing, shocking, heartbreaking, and yet somehow wonderful. Amazing because I have great difficulty understanding how such activities ever occurred. The overall plans for a Master Race still shock me, even today, after reading about the holocaust and Hitler's Germany... I find that I still have hatred in my heart for the atrocities that have taken place in this world. The story is also heartbreaking and wonderful because I can fully and truly empathize with both Mothers -- the one who desperately wanted a child and the one who desperately wanted her child back. Stories from this era have always captivated me and I imagine that they will continue to do so; perhaps it is because ... well, I suppose there are many reasons. I think I'll just leave it at that.

POZNAN, Poland (AP) -- On a sunny April morning in 1944, 6-year-old Alodia Witaszek was combed and scrubbed, sitting in the children's home that had primed her for membership in Hitler's master race.

Over the past year she had been snatched from her family, gone hungry in a concentration camp and been beaten for speaking her native Polish. Now she had a German name, "Alice Wittke," and a new - German - mother.

"Guten tag, Mutti!" she called in flawless German to the young woman approaching her. Good morning, Mommy.

Only years later would she discover the full truth: that she was among some 250 children seized from their families as part of a Nazi attempt to improve the Aryan gene pool in pursuit of a mad dream of racial purity.

Her adoptive mother, Luise Dahl, would later say she too had no idea. In a letter written after World War II she said that she knew nothing about snatching children for racial purposes; all she had wanted was to adopt a war orphan. An illness had left her barren, and her husband, a German army officer, was stationed hundreds of miles away, in Paris. She was desperately lonely.

More than 60 years later, the story emerges in part from a rare collection of documents held by the International Tracing Service, or ITS, a unit of the International Committee of the Red Cross, in the small German resort town of Bad Arolsen.

In files to which The Associated Press has been given access in the past seven months are orders from Heinrich Himmler, Adolf Hitler's SS chief, to find children with "eindeutschungsfaehigskeit" - the potential to be Germanized. Other documents tell part of the children's stories. One of those children was Alodia Witaszek, aka Alice Wittke.

---

Luise Dahl had written to more than a dozen orphanages listed in the phone book before a response came asking for personal data about herself and her husband, Wilhelm - health, income, relationship to the Nazi party.

The letter came from an association in Munich with an innocuous-sounding name, Lebensborn, roughly meaning Fountain of Life. But this was no ordinary adoption agency.

Founded by Himmler in 1938, it started out running birthing homes where racially acceptable, mostly unwed mothers could bear their children for adoption by Nazi families. An estimated 20,000 were born in German Lebensborn homes - roughly half of them anonymously - and another 12,000 or so were born to mostly non-German mothers and Nazi fathers in Norway.

After World War II broke out, Lebensborn took on an even more sinister role - it became an adoption agency for hundreds of "racially desirable" toddlers and young children seized from their families in Poland and other occupied territories and forcibly Germanized.

"I believe it is correct if we gather up particularly racially acceptable small children from Polish families and place them in special, not too large children's care centers and homes," reads an order in ITS files which Himmler sent to SS leaders in 1941.

Another Himmler command, written two years later to SS leaders in the Warthegau region of occupied Poland, decrees: "All Polish orphans need to be checked for their potential for Germanization" (Eindeutschung).

With their neatly bobbed blond hair and wide blue eyes, Alodia and her sister, Daria, qualified. "They told me that I have nice features - like German features," Alodia Witaszek recalls today, at 69, sitting in her living room in the Polish city of Poznan, where she was born.

"I was a 'gift for the Fuehrer' - that's what they called us."

Back on that wartime spring morning, as she walked through a park holding little Alodia's hand, Luise Dahl felt a dream come true. "I didn't know the Lebensborn, had never even heard of it," she would write in 1948 to Allied war crimes prosecutors who contacted her.

"But I must admit, they alone understood me."

---

Alodia wasn't the only child of Halina and Franciszek Witaszek. There were five. Their father was a prominent member of the Polish underground, and when he was arrested in 1942, Halina scattered the children among relatives shortly before she too was arrested and sent to Auschwitz.

Alodia and Daria, two years her junior, stayed together.

After the Nazis grabbed them, both girls were taken to a children's concentration camp in Lodz, then to a German-run convent in Kalisz, where the "Germanization" began - a combination of intense German-language lessons and brutal punishments.

"They beat German into our minds until we didn't know what was what anymore. If we spoke Polish, they would beat us or lock us in dark rooms for hours," Alodia Witaszek said.

She lives in a fifth-floor apartment but uses the stairs. "Even today I can't take an elevator," she explains. "The space is too small."

After the girls were taken away, Alodia was told that her parents were now "stars in the sky." Only after the war did she learn that the Nazis had sent her mother to Auschwitz and hanged and beheaded her father for masterminding the killing of Nazi officers by poisoning their coffee.

"I took charge of the child understanding it was an orphaned ethnic German to be adopted, under the German name 'Alice Wittke'," Dahl wrote in 1948, answering a query from a lawyer involved in researching Lebensborn for the Nuremberg trials.

She had sought to adopt Daria as well, but Lebensborn insisted she was promised to another family. The real motive was a policy of separating siblings as part of demolishing and reshaping their identities.

Daria, renamed Doris Wittke, was sent to a foster family outside of Salzburg, Austria.

Alodia's new home was in Stendal, north of Berlin and about 185 miles east of Poznan. At first she longed for her brothers and sisters, and would gaze at the sky, searching for those two stars. Dahl spent most of the first summer with the girl. Her new grandfather built her a dollhouse with nutshells for beds and chairs.

She started school in 1945. She learned to swim and ride a bike, and took ballet lessons. In the spring of 1946 her adoptive father was released from a U.S. POW camp, and the family was complete.

"I was happy. I must have been very happy," Witaszek says, looking at photos.

But back in Poland, Halina Witaszek had survived Auschwitz and was struggling to piece her fatherless family back together.

Her two eldest daughters and baby son came back, but Alodia and Daria were missing. Neighbors told her the SS had kidnapped them.

Halina wrote to the Polish Red Cross in February 1946, enclosing a copy of the girls' picture together.

In May 1946, the Dahls petitioned to adopt Alice Wittke, and a year later she legally became Alice Dahl, a German citizen.

And then, in October 1947, a letter arrived from the Polish Red Cross asking for the child to be returned.

The letter, Dahl wrote, "struck us like lightning." But she knew what she had to do.

"It goes without saying that the birth mother has the first right and we will, with a heavy heart, part with this child who has become beloved and dear to us, as long as it is in the best interest of the child," she wrote back some six weeks later.

On a dark November morning in 1947, the Dahls picked their way through the rubble of Berlin to put the girl on a Red Cross train to Poland.

---

Two months later, Daria came back too. The Red Cross had found her in Austria.

Unlike her elder sister, the family that took Daria into its care viewed her more as an extra pair of hands around the house than as a daughter. Her foster mother was not particularly close to the girl, and on the day Daria left, the woman refused to say goodbye.

Before she died a few years ago, she took her own husband and two children to Austria to see where she had lived. In the garden was her foster mother, now stooped with age. She would not even acknowledge Daria.

The return to Poland was harsh at first. Food was scarce. The girls, now 8 and nearly 10, would whisper to each other in German. Their classmates called them "German pigs."

"Even after we returned, the war wasn't over for us," Witaszek said. "It went on for many years."

Before they parted in Berlin, Alodia had made her adoptive parents promise they would meet again, and one night the sisters got so miserable that they sneaked out to the train station, determined to get back to Germany. Their mother talked them out of it.

Shortly afterward, the first letter arrived. "Mutti" and "Vati" - mom and dad - wanted to hear how their Alice was doing. She wrote back that she missed them and Germany, the food, her toys. The response was a package of goodies, the first of many.

In 1957, aged 18, Alodia Witaszek returned to Germany to visit the Dahls. It became an annual tradition. Later she would bring her two children. She says they accepted without questioning that she has two mothers - a Polish "Mama" and a German "Mutti."

Luise Dahl died in 1971, Wilhelm in 1983. But the daughter they briefly adopted still travels to Germany regularly, to attend Holocaust memorial ceremonies and visit friends.

In Poland she is Alodia Witaszek, but in Germany she still feels she is Alice Dahl. She is glad of it.

"If I didn't have it today," she says, "I don't think I would be happy."

Genetic Discrimination Soon to be Illegal

2007-05-06T20:36:00.000-06:00

Found this short blip in New Scientist magazine. I'm so thankful our country is taking this step! Having the ability to undergo genetic testing without fear of later repercussions from insurance companies is huge and could mean more people may likely seek genetic testing and, in turn, save their own lives in the process.

Soon it will be illegal to deny US citizens jobs or insurance simply because they have an inherited illness, or a genetic predisposition to a particular disease.

On 25 April, the House of Representatives voted 420 to 3 to pass the Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act (GINA). The Senate is expected to endorse the act within a few weeks, which is also supported by President Bush. "I am so stunned by the majority," says Sharon Terry, president of the Genetic Alliance, a charity lobbying for the rights of people with inherited illnesses.

"Clearly the House finally understood the incredible significance this has. The American public can now access genetic tests, feel safe about their genetic information not being misused and participate in research that involves genetic information."

The Little Dude

2007-04-22T21:29:00.000-06:00

After clocking his sister in the head with something that left a nice round goose egg and being disciplined by Dad, our little guy, Zach and I had the following encounter.

Dad sent both kids to bed and had just left to get groceries. I was on the front porch smoking, trying to regroup after the aforementioned drama unfolded when I hear Zach in the living room yelling in a sing-song voice, "Oh, Daaaaaadddddddy, where are yooooooooouuuuuuuu?" Through the open window, I told Zach that Daddy had gone to the store and that he needed to get back to bed. The sing-song shrieking continued. Again, I told him to go to bed. "Nooooooooooooo... oooooohhhhhhh, Daaaaaaaaaaddddddddy, where are yoooooooooooouuuuu?" As I open the front door to come inside, a little blur goes scampering by and runs up the stairs to bed.

I pick up the whites from the bathroom and head to the basement to do a load of laundry. While downstairs, I hear the pitter patter of little boy feet. I yell upstairs, "You better get back to bed, young man!" Feeling certain that he is threatened by the serious tone of my voice, I am confident that I have set him straight and he'll soon retreat to the bedroom. Boy, was I wrong...

::: bang, bang, bang on the floor above me:::

Me: (still yelling from the basement) Zachary! Please go back to bed!

Zach: (in his best-yet, mommy-mocking voice) Zaaaaachaaaaarrrrrry! Go back to bed!

Me: You're going to be in big trouble, mister!

Zach: Oh no, I'm not. (giggle, giggle)

::: the basement door closes and the lock catches :::

Zach: See, I locked the door! You're locked in there forever!

::: bang, bang, bang on the floor above me :::

Me: You unlock that door right now and get your butt to bed, or I'm going to spank it when I come back upstairs!

Zach: Oh no you're not! (giggle, giggle)

Luckily, his older sister heard the commotion and had enough sense to come downstairs and unlock the basement door. The little turd was still standing there, smiling from ear to ear, oh-so proud of his ability to lock Mom in the creepy basement.

I gave him the look and he started climbing the stairs to his bedroom. He stopped midway up the staircase and I swatted him on the butt to give him a bit of motivation. After a 5-second pause, he turned and yelled, "Ooooooouuuuuch!" Then, as if nothing had happened, he turned and started climbing the stairs again. "Good night, Mommy. I love you!"

Love you, too, little dude. Love you, too.

What's in his pants?!

2007-04-16T02:18:00.000-06:00

For the record, I've loved Andre Agassi for some time now. This photo is heavenly. Wow.

No wonder Steffi is smiling.

Bowl for Kids' Sake

2007-04-07T00:49:00.000-06:00

I recently began working with Big Brothers Big Sisters as a Volunteer Coordinator to recruit new volunteers to serve as Big Brothers, Big Sisters, or Big Couples and enroll at-risk children as Little Brothers or Little Sisters. The work that BBBS does is amazing and the impact our BIGS have on our LITTLES is magical. Bowl for Kids' Sake is our biggest, most important fundraiser of the year and we count on YOU to make a BIG difference in the lives of LITTLE people who need our help.

I am trying to raise money for Big Brothers Big Sisters to support our work with young people by recruiting a bowling team who can, in turn, raise money for BBBS. Our team's goals include recruiting a total of six bowlers and raising $1000.00 or more for BBBS. Thus far, we're up to four bowlers and are hoping that Jimmy and his better half will be able to join us and round out our team. (C'mon, Jimmy... free beer! How can you say no to that?) Likewise, we've raised $130.00 of our team goal of $1000.00... we're well on our way, but we need your help to succeed.

Please consider helping our team reach its goal and make a donation to the Big Brothers Big Sisters Bowl for Kids' Sake fundraiser. Credit card donations can be accepted online or we can also accept donations made by cash or check. No donation is too small... $5, $10, $25 or more ... we will accept any amount you can afford to give. Many of us spend more than $25/month on lattes from Starbucks, books from Borders, or CDs from Best Buy. Now, think of the positive impact that same amount of money could have on the life of a child who needs a mentor. Your support can help Big Brothers Big Sisters bring the magic of mentoring into their young lives.

If you can, please give.

To view the 2007 BFKS video, please click here.

To support our bowling team and BBBS Bowl for Kids' Sake, please click here.

Jesse - Update

2007-04-05T14:43:00.000-06:00

Good news! The doctor's office called and said that Jesse's labwork came back just fine. The dreaded, horrible, terminal, yicky, and nasty things they tested for can be ruled out. I'm so relieved. We have another appointment with the doctor on the 16th and will discuss more with him then, if there will be more tests, what other possibilities might be out there, etc. I'm just incredibly thankful at this moment and wanted to share the good news with you, too. :)

I still have my little boy.

A Fucking Freak

2007-04-04T03:35:00.000-06:00

The title says it all.

What Did You Do in Fifth Grade?

2007-04-04T01:24:00.000-06:00

Unbelievable story. I can't imagine even having thought about this kind of stuff in fifth grade. Crazy.

Not Competitive Enough

2007-04-01T00:51:00.000-06:00

Well, I received the letter from the University today. I wasn't accepted to the MSW program that I had applied to. I was placed on their waiting list and there is still a chance for admission, but I've decided not to hold my breath.

The optimistic side of my psyche is saying that there is a reason, albeit misunderstood or unknown, that I wasn't accepted this year and that one day I'll understand, there's always next year, I'm meant to do something else with my time right now, blah blah blah. Yet, I'm so discouraged. I had always wanted to be a veterinarian, but didn't get accepted at K-State and was added to their waiting list. Then there was the Wildlife Management MS program at the University of Lincoln that I wanted to apply to a couple years ago. To be considered for admission, you have to secure an Advisor first and, despite my best efforts, I couldn't find a single Professor who either had space in their lab or money in their budget or a project to work on or a willingness to take on another grad student. And now this disappointment makes three.

I know, I know... some of you may be wondering how one moves from Biology to Social Work. Read through a couple of the previous posts and perhaps it will make sense. Perhaps not. I'm simply tired of finding an interest and feeling passionate about something that I'd like to spend my life doing and being told that I can't make it happen when I want it to happen.

Guess I'm impatient (want what I want when I want it, damn it!) and whining and feeling sorry for myself a bit. There are worse things in life. It's a disappointment and I'll get through this one, too.

Richard Simmons

2007-03-31T23:22:00.001-06:00

Something that made me smile this week...

Neonatal Adrenoleukodystrophy?

2007-03-24T23:43:00.000-06:00

I don’t even know where to begin. There has been so much happen lately and I’ve intended to post an update, but it’s all so overwhelming for me right now and some days, just getting out of bed is about all I can muster. I’ll tell you what we know at this point, in bullets, because it’s easier for me this way. Sorry... some of this info may be redundant.

EEG was normal.
MRI showed abnormalities in the white matter of Jesse’s brain. White matter is on the interior of the brain and contains most of our neurons that are coated in myelin sheaths. The myelin appears whitish in color, making those regions of the brain also appear whitish, hence the name ‘white matter.’
Abnormalities are in the occipital and frontal regions of his brain. Occipital area controls vision while the frontal area primarily controls higher cognitive functions and movement. Initially, the doctor said the abnormalities are considered static (unchanging, not progressing) and gave a diagnosis of Static Leukoencephalopathy due to Non-Specific In-Utero Insult. Basically, that means that something happened during his development that caused a disorder of the brain’s white matter. As long as the affected areas remain static and don’t progress, we’d be okay and we’d do another MRI when he is two years old to look for any changes.
Initial bloodwork which consisted of standard lab tests – CBC, chem panel, lead, amino acids, thyroid, creatinine kinase, etc. all came back normal which allowed us to rule out several possible disorders.
This type of abnormality is usually caused by one of three things – premature birth, a viral infection, or metabolic conditions. Since the basic bloodwork was fine and he wasn’t born prematurely, we’re moving on to the metabolic disorders and trying to rule those out.
We’re waiting for results of additional labwork that is testing Jesse’s copper transport system, lysosomal enzymes, and peroxisome function. Because these tests are genetically-based, the results take about 2-3 weeks to come in. So… now, we’re just waiting and worrying.

Our copper transport system ensures that our body has the appropriate levels of copper in the appropriate places… too much or too little affects us in bad ways.
We need lysosomal enzymes to break down the waste products in some of our cells. If they don’t function properly, our cells fill up with waste products and can’t get rid of the junk.
Peroxisomes are also used to help get rid of waste products in our cells. Specifically, their major function is to break down fatty acids, long chain fatty acids, and very long chain fatty acids (yes, those are the actual names). Again, if our peroxisomes don’t work right, we run into trouble.

On the lab paperwork that I saw on Monday, the doctor indicated that his suspected diagnosis is a disorder called Neonatal Adrenoleukodystrophy. The blood tests will confirm if his suspicions are correct. If the bloodwork comes back okay, we’ll move on to the next possibility. There is a lot of info out there about adrenoleukodystrophy… but, what you have to look for is the neonatal form of the disorder, as there are variants that we’re not worried about such as X-linked, adult-onset, etc.
Adrenoleukodystrophy is terrifying to me – there is no cure, very little can be done, and most children die in infancy or early childhood. This is the “technical info” I have on this disorder:

Adrenoleukodystrophy (ALD) is one of a group of genetic disorders called the leukodystrophies that cause damage to the myelin sheath, an insulating membrane that surrounds nerve cells in the brain. People with ALD accumulate high levels of saturated, very long chain fatty acids (VLCFA) in the brain and adrenal cortex because they do not produce the enzyme that breaks down these fatty acids in the normal manner. The loss of myelin and the progressive dysfunction of the adrenal gland are the primary characteristics of ALD.
The abnormal genes that cause neonatal ALD are not specific to the X-chromosome (like X-linked ALD), which means that both male and female babies can be affected. Symptoms include mental retardation, facial abnormalities, seizures, retinal degeneration, weak muscle tone, enlarged liver, and adrenal dysfunction. This form usually progresses rapidly.
Bone marrow transplants can provide long-term benefit to boys who have early evidence of X-ALD, but the procedure carries risk of mortality and morbidity and is not recommended for those whose symptoms are already severe or who have the adult-onset or neonatal forms. Oral administration of docosahexanoic acid (DHA) may help infants and children with neonatal ALD.
Prognosis for patients with ALD is generally poor due to progressive neurological deterioration. Death usually occurs within 1 to 10 years after the onset of symptoms.
Some of the symptoms for the neonatal form of the disorder that we’ve seen in Jess include floppy presentation as an infant, delayed development (especially motor), seizures, some facial abnormalities, weak muscle tone, low muscle tone, intermittent vomiting, and the white matter abnormalities on his MRI. There are other symptoms he hasn’t shown.

We have another 1-2 weeks before the results for the blood tests are in and I’m sure you can imagine how difficult this waiting period is. I’m trying to stay positive but am simply overwhelmed with terror and sadness and worry and emotion. I feel so alone… Dave is supportive, but he’s not grieving at this point and I am. This is a good thing really, as we have always complemented one another. When he's down, I'm up... when I'm down, he's up. Right now, he absolutely is my rock and I am incredibly thankful for his strength.

Please don’t tell me not to grieve yet… it is how I’m dealing with this information. If the diagnosis turns out to be good, I will be overjoyed… if the news is bad, well, then I’ll face it all over again. But, for right now, I have to work through all these emotions in my own way and in my own time. I’m terrified Jesse is going to die. I feel like others will think I’m overreacting and being melodramatic, but I’m simply doing the best I can do for right now. It’s incredibly hard.

Anyway, that’s the latest and greatest news about our currently-shitty lives. There are a lot of good things, too, don’t get me wrong… I guess it’s just harder to focus on the positives right now, that’s all.

We're having a birthday party for Zach tomorrow evening -- he turns 3 years old on Monday! It will be good to smile again and enjoy the laughter of our children. I have a big stack of presents to wrap yet tonight, so I'm signing off for now. As I learn more, I'll post another update.

Nanook of the North

2007-03-21T19:53:00.000-06:00

We lost an old friend today. Nanook was euthanized this afternoon and I miss him already.

He had nipped at Zach about a month ago and has growled at Jess a time or two in the last couple of weeks. We have to put our kids before anything else in the world, so it was Nanook's time to go.

I wish we would have been able to find another home for him, but throughout his 10 years with us, he was aggressive in one way or another. I'm certain he was abused in his first home, before we adopted him from an animal shelter in Virginia back in 1997. He's always had a really tough time trusting men and would even become very hostile with me when I attempted to discipline him. No one else would have ever taken him, but I am thankful that I did. He had 10 good years with us in a home where he was loved and nurtured. He was always "my" dog and I will miss you, my friend. Rest well.

Sleeping Pills Helping Brain Damaged

2007-03-16T01:07:00.000-06:00

This is a very cool story. The fields of medicine, pharmaceuticals, and research continue to amaze me. Think of the possibilities and how many individuals this might have the potential to help. It's nice to see some good news.

Brutal

2007-03-16T01:02:00.000-06:00

What the fuck would make someone want to do this? It's just cruel... sick, wrong, heartless. I can't imagine.

I just don't understand people sometimes.

Impatience is Driving Me Crazy

2007-03-15T22:25:00.000-06:00

We still know nothing new regarding Jess. A nurse called earlier in the week and indicated they hadn't scheduled the additional labwork yet because they were still trying to get authorization from the insurance company. Once they had the pre-certification approved, they would call and get him in. Argh. I've also been waiting for another callback from the doctor so I can ask him some additional questions about Jesse's MRI; he's tried calling a couple times, but we haven't been home. Again... argh.

I'm a learner, a seeker, a searcher. I fear the unknown. Since I don't handle fear well, I like to educate myself as best I can so the unknown is no longer unknown. I've spent countless days into the wee hours of the morning pouring over medical, support group, med school, and reference websites trying to find something, anything, that might be a match for Jesse's symptoms. I've read about neurological disorders, metabolic disorders, seizure disorders, neuromuscular disorders, autoimmune disorders... it is simply mind-boggling to see how many "things" can go wrong with this fragile treasure we call life. What is incredibly sad, and somewhat fearful, to me is that there are so many illnesses/diseases/disorders that have poor outcomes; in many cases, life is shortened dramatically and many children die when they are very young.

Don't get me wrong, I don't really think that Jess has one of the terminal problems I've read about. Seeing all that could go wrong with the body just really got me thinking about the folks that are parents to such sick little kids and how heartbreaking it must be for them. In the miracle of the human body, it is amazing to me that something as tiny a missing amino acid or an extra protein group can cause such devastation.

I suppose, at this point, ignorance is bliss (in a way) and I am simply thankful for each day with him. I tell myself that perhaps knowing what is wrong with him may be worse than not knowing, as that is what I sometimes do when I face the unknown. Yet, I continue my search with optimistic hope because... well, because that is just what I do to hang on to my sanity for a bit longer.

Head and Heart

2007-03-08T20:51:00.000-06:00

Earlier this week, our littlest guy, Jess, had an EEG and MRI to take a look at his brain. For nearly three months, last October through December, he had these "episodes," for lack of a better word, in which he would start blinking rather forcefully and purposefully, his upper body would stiffen, and his back would sometimes arch. These "fits" would last a few moments and then he would return to normal. I wouldn't classify them as full-blown seizures, but we knew something wasn't quite right. His pediatrician referred us to the Neurology Department at Children's Hospital, suggesting that he receive a full workup from them.

His initial physical exam with the neurologist was fine. The first series of lab/bloodwork they did was normal. The neurologist called this evening and said that Jesse's EEG was normal. However, the MRI showed some abnormalities in the white matter of his brain. They don't know yet what the abnormality is for certain, but Jesse's brain is showing signs of increased signaling, whatever the Hell that means. The doctor indicated that it might be caused by premature birth (not really applicable in our case), a viral infection (possibly), or some type of metabolic condition, but again he can't be certain at this point. He's ordered additional blood tests to hopefully pinpoint the exact problem, or at least rule out some potential problems. Once I know more, I'll post an update.

While he was at Children's Hospital for his EEG and MRI, the doctor indicated that Jesse also seems to have a heart murmur. The murmur was initially discovered when he was born, but there were professional differences regarding the severity of the problem, whether it would resolve on its own, etc. After our cursory four days in the hospital, we took Jesse home thinking that his heart was fine and all was good. No one has mentioned a murmur since. Until this week. The doctor said the murmur was evident to her, although she suggested it could be a subjective call, and indicated it sounded like a pulmonary flow murmur. She said it was likely benign, notified our pediatrician, and we added that to our list of concerns for Jesse. If the murmur is still evident at Jesse's 15-month check-up in April, an echocardiogram will be done to see what exactly is happening with his ticker.

He's a sweet little boy who doesn't deserve all this. It pisses me off that he has to be poked and prodded and put under and scanned and stuck and tested and... on and on. Although angry, I'm so thankful that we have the medical technology of today and know things could be much worse. I'm grateful that Jesse is happy and, most days, seems healthy. I'm appreciative of the doctors and nurses we've trusted our children to.

I do love this little boy.

My Rant - I Am Angry

2007-03-05T01:14:00.000-06:00

We had a blizzard blow through Omaha during the last few days. The streets were a mess, wrecks and abandoned cars all over the city. I ventured out to take my youngest son to the doctor and then stopped by the University of Nebraska to deliver my application packet to the School of Social Work. When it was time to leave and return home, I got stuck in the parking lot. I can't tell you how many people walked by my van, saw that I was stuck, made eye contact with me, and simply kept on walking. The grounds maintenance person who was driving around with a snowplow on the front of his little golf cart and a shovel in the back, he too simply looked at me and then looked away. A guy even came out of the campus apartments with a shovel and started walking toward the van. I thought he was going to be the good samaritan to stop and help, but he walked right on by and headed for his car, which was parked right next to mine. I have to say he did a fine job of digging his own car out. In the end, hubby and a couple of older gentlemen from the School of Social Work were able to push me out of the damn snow.

Bullies. Hate 'em. I hate the folks that threaten others for getting involved, for doing something they believe in. Fuck off, I say.

Why are we doing nothing to help the people of Darfur?

That is all.

At the Gates of Hope: My Life's Journey

2007-02-23T22:56:00.000-06:00

For those that are interested in how my decision to pursue social work has evolved, I thought I would share a portion of the personal statement included in my grad school application packet. It's rather lengthy and may likely bore some of you to tears; others will recognize the history of my life, as they were there to witness it firsthand. At any rate, this post is simply a small glimpse into my psyche and a proclamation to the world of my calling.

“These are the traits of an addict that you have identified,” she said. “Take a moment to reflect and decide if these traits match any qualities that you might see in yourself or your own life.” As I sat in quiet solitude, contemplating life, actions I had taken, choices I had made, and the angry, oppressive baggage I carried, I realized that each of the bullet points our group had outlined on the whiteboard described me and my life all too well. Despite the feelings of rage, denial, defiance, disappointment, and sadness, for the first time in my young life, I finally admitted to myself that I was, indeed, an addict and needed help to turn my life around.

At 15, after an arrest for shoplifting and a psychological evaluation, I began my journey through our juvenile court system, meeting probation officers, attorneys, judges, counselors, psychiatrists, and social workers along the way. On my passage through this foreign world, I found the language peculiar and the expectations of me outlandish. Addictive personality, depression, co-dependent, enabler, oppositional, addict, alcoholic, eating disorder, inpatient treatment, outpatient therapy, counseling, community service, accountability, ownership, consequences, self-determination, and one day at a time… I wondered, “What normal person really buys into this gibberish? Do they seriously expect me to take responsibility for my own life?” Indeed, they did. Eventually, in time, I did too.

After a tour through two outpatient counseling programs along with a side trip to an inpatient treatment facility, countless AA meetings, and years of intensive individual, group, and family therapy, I finally managed to successfully navigate the waters of Sarpy County’s Juvenile Diversion program. I had learned to take responsibility for myself, accept the consequences that resulted from my choices, and understand that a better, healthier life full of hope and love was possible after all. Although it was I who saw the light at the end of the tunnel and struggled daily to reach it, those beautiful souls that inhabited that unfamiliar land of long ago were there to lift my head, hold my hand, and share the journey with me. Had not so many people seen a glimmer of promise in that angst-filled teenager, had not so many genuinely cared and offered hope, had not so many given me a voice when I could not find my own, and had I not received one last chance to save myself, I truly believe I wouldn’t be here today.

Although it may sound cliché, social work is my calling; this realization has evolved over time and, despite my best efforts to pursue other endeavors, I find myself always returning home with an insatiable yearning to give back to others and eager to make a positive difference in the world. It is my belief that everything that has happened in my life, good or bad, has occurred for a reason – one that typically exceeds my appreciation – and has shaped the person I have become. Likewise, the people I have encountered throughout my personal journey have graced my life for a purpose that is usually greater than my understanding; each has left a distinct impression, gently taught a lesson, or enriched my human experience. Gratefully, I have been connected with the [therapy center] for over two decades; from a defiant, depressed teenager to a capable, confident adult, I have worked with [my therapist] and the [therapy center] for most of my formative years. Throughout my struggles with substance abuse, grief, familial dysfunction, parenting issues, and depression, I have returned to the [therapy center] time and again for over 20 years. I consider [my therapist] a trusted advisor and mentor from whom I have learned much and who continues to serve as an inspiration to me, even today. She has humbly walked with me as I have grown emotionally and spiritually, and matured wisely and lovingly, always seeking the quiet, nurturing, non-judgmental place within my heart that allows me to enjoy life with hope, patience and reverence. My long-term connection to the [therapy center] and the positive changes I’ve seen because of the work done there have been life-altering, key motivators for my decision to make social work my life’s work.

Is my own journey complete? No, there is still much to do, experience, and learn. However, now is the time for me to give back, to walk with others on their journey through life; now is the time to gratefully and humbly share my experiences; now is the time to answer the calling that has been with me all these years. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “You must be the change you wish to see in this world.” I am finally ready to be the change.

While I know I cannot save the world, I hope to make a positive impact on it through my work and the lives I touch. We are surrounded by tragedy, poverty, disease, inequality, abuse, hunger, injustice, homelessness, despair, and apathy; it’s easy to become discouraged and overwhelmed by the troubles of the world. I hope to be an advocate for the downtrodden and disadvantaged who feel forgotten and uncared for; I aspire to help them find their voices again and reclaim the hopefulness we all need to survive and flourish. Whether it is waiting with an isolated elder for the end of his life’s journey, providing work skills training to a single Native American mother struggling to feed her family, or advocating for the welfare of a child, the work will matter, it will have meaning and importance.

Throughout my life, I’ve been privileged to work with people from various socioeconomic, cultural, and developmental backgrounds. Whether it be tutoring at-risk children at The Urban League of Nebraska, encouraging special-needs athletes at the Nebraska Special Olympic games, celebrating a sobriety milestone with a friend, grieving with members of my church as a BeFriender lay minister, renovating the hurricane-ravaged home of a disadvantaged Hispanic family, or helping youth group members work through their personal struggles with sexual orientation or drug abuse, my life has been enriched by each experience. I strive to learn something from each person and situation I encounter; I firmly believe that I have received far more than I have ever given to others and am grateful for the gift of sharing another’s journey, even if for a short time. My entire life has prepared me for social work and the precious opportunities and experiences that lie ahead.

I was moved by a passage written by Victoria Safford, author of “The Small Work in the Great Work,” as she recounted the following quote from a psychiatrist friend: “You know I cannot save them. I am not here to save anybody or to save the world. All I can do – what I am called to do – is to plant myself at the gates of Hope. Sometimes they come in; sometimes they walk by. But I stand there every day and I call out till my lungs are sore with calling, and beckon and urge them in toward beautiful life and love.” This passage exemplifies what I hope to achieve in my life’s work, in my contribution to social work and the world. Now is the time for me to answer the call and take my place at the gates of Hope.

Thanks for reading. :)

Taking the Plunge

2007-02-23T22:26:00.000-06:00

After much thought and deliberation, I've finally decided to take the plunge and pursue a (sort of) new direction in life. I've submitted my application for graduate school at the University of Nebraska in pursuit of a Master of Social Work (MSW) degree. The application deadline is next week and I should have a decision from the Admissions Committee by the end of April.

I say this direction is "sort of" new because, while I've been involved with some aspect of social work for most of my life, I've usually been on the receiving end, have never studied it formally, and really hadn't considered it my calling until recently. I'm incredibly excited to have something so hopeful and positive in my life, something that is truly mine, something to feel passionate about again. It's been a long time since I've felt this kind of exhilaration!

Since I've had children, they have been my primary focus. They will continue to be my primary focus, but I really lost what was important to me in the busy-ness of everyday life. I lost my sense of self and I really haven't had anything that is mine for a number of years. I've learned, the hard way, that in order for me to be a wonderful mom, terrific wife, great friend, and a happy person, I have to take care of me. For the most part, I've been very neglectful of me (as I think many parents are) and, as a result, have continued to struggle with depression, apathy, lack of motivation, lack of interest, etc. It feels good to take care of me again. :)

Can a Muslim be a Good American?

2007-02-23T01:35:00.000-06:00

I received the following text in an email today. While reading, I kept a lookout for the punch line, thinking that surely there must be a light-hearted joke wrapped up in this drivel. However, when I got to the end of the message and discovered there was no punch line, I felt physically sick and incredibly angry. I thought I would share the content of this message (in white, bold, italic print), along with the details of my reply to my husband's birthmother (who had sent the original message to us). My goal is to educate, stop the dissemination of lies, and make it known (at least to hubby's birthmom) that I will not passively stand by while such hatefulness and ignorance are propagated. Note that most of the info I have included in my reply to birthmom was found on some terrific Internet sites that, like me, would like to put an end to this kind of shit.

Can a good Muslim be a good American?
This question was forwarded someone who worked in Saudi Arabia for 20 years. The following is his forwarded reply:

Theologically - no. Because his allegiance is
to Allah, the moon God of Arabia.
The moon God of Arabia? Are you kidding me? The word "Allah" means "God." In Arab-speaking lands, Jews and Christians and Muslims all refer to God as "Allah." Because that's what the word means: God. Muslims believe they worship the same exact God as the Jewish and Christian God. They worship the God of Abraham.
Additionally, is it really logical to assume that a Muslim cannot be loyal to the American government because he is loyal to Allah? If so, one might wonder if Christians or Jews can be loyal to our government if their primary allegiance is to God.

Religiously - no. Because no other religion is
accepted by his Allah except Islam (Quran, 2:256)
The translation of the Koran I referenced says this in 2:256, "There is no compulsion in religion; truly the right way has become clearly distinct from error; therefore, whoever disbelieves in the Shaitan and believes in Allah he indeed has laid hold on the firmest handle, which shall not break off, and Allah is Hearing, Knowing." Perhaps others interpret this passage differently, but all this says to me is that religion is voluntary, not compulsory (the Koran says that in more than one place). If you believe in God and reject Satan, then God will know and you'll be in good shape.

Scripturally - no. Because his allegiance is to
the five pillars of Islam and the Quran (Koran)
First off, not all Muslims follow the "five pillars." Most Sunni do, most Shia do not. But either way, there's nothing particularly sinister about the pillars, which are: 1) Profess to believe that there is no God except for God, and that Muhammed was his messenger. 2) Pray to God at least five times a day, if it's practical and you can manage it. 3) Give alms ("zakat") to the poor. This is usually money, but can be food if you can't give money. 4) Fast from dawn to dusk for one month a year, known as Ramadan. This is only for adults, and not for people who are sick or elderly. 5) If practical, and you can afford it, make at least one pilgrimmage in your life to visit Mecca.
Again, does believing in the Bible or the Torah somehow negate a Christian or Jew’s citizenship?

Geographically - no. Because his allegiance is to
Mecca, to which he turns in prayer five times a day.
This is like saying Jews can't be good Americans because their allegiance is to Israel, or Catholics can't be good Americans because their allegiance is to the Vatican in Rome. Tripe, in other words.

Socially - no. Because his allegiance to Islam
forbids him to make friends with Christians or Jews.

Parts of the Koran say don't be friends with treacherous unbelievers, but then in other sections it says God may give you friends among the unbelievers. Most Muslims I know interpret that to mean you shouldn't be friends with treacherous or deceitful unbelievers, but if unbelievers treat you honorably then you can be friends with them. Furthermore, the word "infidel" is a Christian term. It was invented centuries ago by Christians to describe Muslims, Jews, idol-worshippers, and other non-Christians. Indeed, here's a lengthy quote from the King James Bible:

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.
That would be 2 Corinthians:14-17. (See also 1 Timothy 5:8 in the King James).
Somewhat ironic, isn't it? Doesn't the Bible say that Christians shouldn't be friends with unbelievers? Yes, if you take it literally, that's exactly what it says. Indeed, it says people who aren't Christians are unclean and shouldn't even be touched, if you read it too literally. The point is, very few Christians believe such a thing because those verses need to be read in their proper historical context and in the context of the rest of the Bible. Which, coincidentally, is exactly how you have to interpret the Koran: in proper historical context and in the context of the full book and not just one or two verses.

Politically - no. Because he must submit to the
mullah (spiritual leaders), who teach annihilation
of Israel and destruction of America, the great Satan.

No Muslim has an obligation to follow a scholar (mullah) who teaches hatred and harm to others. To the contrary, it is the duty of Muslims to follow the leaders who represent the moral and spiritual values of Islam. No one can stand indifferent to injustice in the world and regard himself or herself as a member of the human community, let alone of the Muslim community.
Do some Muslims scholars promote the annihilation of Israel and the destruction of the US? Sure, some of them may. And Pat Robertson teaches the destruction of Pennsylvania and Hugo Chavez. However, no one but the most extreme of fundamentalist Muslims would commit violence against America.

Domestically - no. Because he is instructed to marry four women and beat and scourge his wife when she disobeys him (Quran 4:34).

The fourth book of the Koran, known as "The Women," says that a man may marry as many as four women, but only if he can do justice to all of them. And if he has any doubts about that, he should marry only one woman (Koran 4:3). Historically, multiple marriages usually occur only when a man is very rich or when a widow who has children at home needs a new husband and no single man is able or willing to marry her. As for wife-beating, there is one controversial verse in the Koran, which has multiple interpretations, which may indicate this behavior is acceptable in extreme circumstances. However, it should also be noted that there are numerous other verses in the Koran that specifically prohibit such behavior.

If you look through the Bible you'll find that many biblical figures had multiple wives, including Abraham, Jacob, Judah, David, and Solomon. You'll also find verses which say people should be stoned to death for blasphemy or adultery. Yet, most Christians and Jews today don't take such instructions literally, do they?

Intellectually - no. Because he cannot accept
the American Constitution since it is based on Biblical principles and he believes the Bible to be corrupt.
I'm afraid I need some help with this one. Can you please show me the words "God" or "Bible" or "Christian" anywhere in the entire text of the Constitution? I have done a rather thorough search, all for not. Go on, show me where you find that, because I just don't see it. I do see this though, in one of my favorite amendments:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.
I've looked and I've looked and I've looked again, and I do not see any "except for Muslims" clause in there. Have I missed that as well?

Philosophically - no. Because Islam, Muhammad, and the Quran do not allow freedom of religion and expression. Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist. Every Muslim government is either dictatorial or autocratic.
Nothing could be farther from the truth. Again, the Koran clearly says there can be no compulsion in religion -- which sounds suspiciously like freedom of religion and expression to me!
Additionally, how many of us have been subjected to the hypocritical rantings and holier-than-thou, bible-thumping, you'd-better-repent-or-burn-in-Hell threats and judgments from those who claim to value freedom of religion and expression but are outraged by Piss Christ or The Last Temptation of Christ, removing the Commandments from our public school buildings, or embracing homosexuals in our religious houses of worship? How many times have the ultra-conservatives in this country fought for freedom of religion and expression? Only the number of times that the religion and expression agreed with their religion and expression.
The Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani has been one of the world's foremost advocates of democracy, urging all Muslims to vote and be a part of the democratic process both in his homeland of Iraq (which is now a democracy) and around the world. He says voting and being part of democratic processes is a fundamental duty of all Muslims.

Democratic nations dominated by Muslims include Indonesia, Mali, Senegal, Turkey, Albania, Niger, and Nigeria -- and nowadays we can also add Iraq, Afghanistan, and Lebanon to the list. Oh, by the way, the largest democracy in the world is India. Who is India's president? Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen Abdul Kalam -- a Muslim! Perhaps someone ought to tell him that democracy can't exist in his religion.

Spiritually - no. Because when we declare "one nation under God," the Christian's God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in The Quran's 99 excellent names.
"And spend in the way of Allah and cast not yourselves to perdition with your own hands, and do good (to others); surely Allah loves the doers of good." (Koran 2:195)

"Surely Allah loves those who turn much (to Him), and He loves those who purify themselves." (Koran 2:222)

"Say: If you love Allah, then follow me, Allah will love you and forgive you your faults, and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." (Koran 3:31)

"Those who spend (benevolently) in ease as well as in straitness, and those who restrain (their) anger and pardon men; and Allah loves the doers of good (to others)." (Koran 3:134)

True, the Koran doesn't refer to God as the "Heavenly Father." But love, compassion, mercy, and benevolence are all traits ascribed to God over and over again. The 99 names of God mentioned in the Koran include "Peace and Blessing," "The Subtly Kind," "The All Forgiving," "The Bountiful, the Generous," and "The Loving, The Kind" among many others.

Therefore after much study and deliberation...
perhaps we should be very mindful of ALL MUSLIMS in this country. They obviously cannot be both good Muslims and good Americans. Call it what you wish... it's still the truth.
Pass it on Fellow Americans. The religious war is bigger than we know or understand.

With all seriousness, this kind of message is nothing short of irrational, unfounded, xenophobic hate-mongering that attempts to incite violence and bigotry toward our fellow man. The message, as well as the thoughts behind it, are despicable. Shame, shame, shame.

Alone

2007-02-21T12:28:00.000-06:00

I thought this story was incredibly sad.

To have been dead for over a year and have no one wonder where you are, how you're feeling, if you're okay, if you need anything... nothing. He vanished from existence and no one cared, no one noticed that he was no longer there.

How lonely this man likely was.

Pandora

2007-02-19T00:33:00.000-06:00

Hubby showed me a cool, new website I hadn't seen before:

www.pandora.com

Created by the Music Genome Project, it is a website that helps you find new music based on songs or artists that you already like. From their website, "Pandora™ is the doorway to this vast trove of musical information. With Pandora you can explore to your heart's content. Just drop the name of one of your favorite songs or artists into Pandora and let the Genome Project go. It will quickly scan its entire world of analyzed music, almost a century of popular recordings - new and old, well known and completely obscure - to find songs with interesting musical similarities to your choice. Then sit back and enjoy as it creates a listening experience full of current and soon-to-be favorite songs for you."

It's deliciously creepy how well the site is able to find new artists or songs that I have never heard, but really end up liking. Very cool indeed.

Tidbits

2007-02-17T00:59:00.000-06:00

Pregnant women who suffer from diabetes are more likely to have a child with memory problems, according to a new study.

An animal shelter in Las Vegas had to euthanize 1,000 cats and dogs due to outbreaks of highly contagious diseases -- distemper and parvo -- at the shelter. The shelter had apparently been using incorrect vaccines or had vaccinated the animals at incorrect times; the shelter was also overcrowded which only helped these diseases flourish. The shelter's management team didn't want to euthanize animals simply because they hadn't been adopted or were short on space at the shelter. While their intentions were admirable, I find it hard to believe that the "Lied Animal Shelter officials ... said they did not realize animals were infected until the Humane Society team noticed animals with intestinal and respiratory problems." I'm sorry, but I've cared for dogs and cats with parvo and distemper -- you can't help but know they are sick if you have two brain cells and you will never forget the smell of the vomit and diarrhea. They didn't realize the animals were infected? Unbelievable.

An 84-year old woman in Portland, Oregon has confessed to having sex with an 11-year old boy while he was a foster child in her care. Yick. Lady, ever hear of masturbation?

New genetic evidence supports the Land Bridge Theory which states that the earliest Native Americans arrived via the Bering Strait land bridge that once connected the North American and Asian continents. A sequence of DNA has been found in Native Americans from various tribes as well as people living in Eastern Siberia, but the genetic puzzle piece wasn't found in other populations that were tested, including Mongolians, Japanese, or people living in other parts of Siberia.

The bird flu virus H5N1 has been found in cats. In a recent study in Indonesia, blood from 500 stray cats was sampled and 20% had the H5N1 antibodies present, indicating that the cats had been infected with the bird flu virus at one point or another. Why should we care? "The main worry is that as the virus replicates in cats it will further adapt to mammals and acquire the ability to spread more efficiently to people and from person to person, unleashing a human pandemic ... We know the 1918 pandemic was a bird flu virus that adapted to mammals in some intermediate mammalian host, possibly pigs ... Maybe for H5N1 the intermediate host is cats." What would you do in the case of a human pandemic?

Beware! Boys with boobs... yep, young boys have developed breast tissue after having regular and prolonged contact with lotions, gels, shampoos, etc. that contain lavender and tea tree oils. The good news is that the boys lost the breast tissue after discontinuing use of said products. It is thought that these ingredients may mimic estrogen and suppress hormones responsible for the masculinization of boys.

I hadn't realized that US taxpayers continue to support the pensions of congressmen, even after they have been convicted of felonies. "According to the Taxpayers Union research, 20 lawmakers over the last 25 years have been found guilty of serious crimes while in office. All 20 received, or are still receiving, congressional retirement benefits. Randall "Duke" Cunningham and James Traficant are both in prison right now, and both collecting. "Duke" gets an estimated $64,000 a year. Traficant's estimated pension is $40,000." Congressman Rostenkowski, former chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee who was indicted for embezzling public funds (among other charges) and later pardoned by Clinton, collects a whopping $126,000 each year. Wow. Had no idea.

Live Earth is here. Save Our Selves - The Campaign for a Climate in Crisis, a worldwide series of concerts to bring greater attention to the world's changing climate, is set for July 7, 2007. More than 100 performers are scheduled to appear, including Melissa Etheridge, the Foo Fighters, Lenny Kravitz, Sheryl Crow, John Mayer, Duran Duran, Korn, Pharrell, the Black Eyed Peas, Akon, Enrique Iglesias, Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. Proceeds from the event will be used create a foundation to combat climate change led by The Alliance for Climate Protection, which is chaired by Al Gore. Also of interest, Gore's documentary film "An Inconvenient Truth" has been nominated for an Academy Award and Gore, himself, has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Yay, Al. :)

Obama Mama

2007-02-13T23:45:00.000-06:00

Take a look at this video and get to know our next President. :-)

I am so encouraged by his hope and optimism and commitment to create a better world, unified communities, and a united America and haven't been this interested in or excited about a political campaign in quite some time.

"You must be the change you wish to see in this world."

~ Mahatma Ghandi

Need help with your grocery bill?

2007-02-10T12:01:00.000-06:00

If you're like us, your grocery bill is likely one of your greatest expenses each month. There are times that we really struggle to put decent food on the table and feed our kids. Despite our efforts to use coupons, buy plain label items, and take advantage of sales, our grocery bill continues to eat up a large portion of our monthly budget.

Through our homeschooling connections, we were introduced to a wonderful program called Angel Food Ministries. This organization provides restaurant-quality food at a fraction of the price you would normally pay. For example, check this out...

2 lb. lasagna dinner
Ten 4 oz. beef and bean burritos
2 lb. bag of chicken breast tenders
12 oz. Philly Steak portions
24 oz. bag breaded chicken breast filets
1 lb. ground turkey
1 lb. hot dogs
16 oz. can pinto beans
1 lb. white rice
1 box corn muffin mix
24 oz. bag potato wedges
16 oz. bag frozen carrots
16 oz. bag frozen corn
3 lbs. apples
12 oz. omelet starter
1 dozen eggs
A dessert item

This list is an example of their basic food package and costs only $25. Yep, $25. Plus, once you purchase a basic package, they usually offer 2-3 specials each month as well for only $18 more. The specials are typically comprised of meat -- chicken breasts, pork chops, steaks, etc. -- and also seem to be really good values.

There are a couple of catches: you have to order your food packages in advance, there is only one food distribution day each month, and you have to go pick up the food you ordered at a local host site. But, for us, the savings far outweighs these inconveniences.

I was very impressed by the work these folks are doing... their story is pretty amazing and they are filling a much-needed niche in our society. Check 'em out at www.angelfoodministries.com.

Hello. My name is Stacey and I am an addict.

2007-02-10T01:51:00.000-06:00

During one of my therapy sessions recently, it occurred to me that I am still an addict. Despite the fact that I haven't used drugs for a number of years and generally consider myself "recovered," in looking at my life and all the other vices that I am addicted to, I realized that I am as much of an addict now as I ever was in my younger days. Sure the drugs of choice have changed, but I am still an addict nonetheless.

This has been quite a depressing revelation for me, as I had put all of that addiction business behind me long ago and didn't think I really needed to work on that area of my life much anymore. In struggling with this new realization, I have been rather introspective and emotional. One evening, not long ago, I read a news story that, for one reason or another, really upset and angered me. What do I do? I think to myself, "I need a glass of wine." I poured a glass of white zin and headed outside to smoke and enjoy the impending buzz.

I'm smoking my cigarette and sipping my wine and my addiction realization kicks in again. A vice in my mouth and one in my hand and I'm disgusted with myself all over again. I feel myself getting angrier and I think, "I need to get out of the house. Go shopping, maybe buy a book." Boom! Another vice... for me, I really struggle with money issues and spending sprees. Typically, said behavior makes me feel better when I'm in a mood; I feel better until I get home and realize how much I've spent and that we really can't afford to lose the money I just shelled out and the guilt, regret and shame set in. Addiction? Yep.

So, I'm standing outside in a cold Nebraska winter, smoking, drinking, and thinking of spending money -- note, trying to enjoy each of aforementioned dependencies -- and it occurs to me that I really don't know how to cope with life's problems without one form of addiction or another. My coping mechanisms that had worked so well for me in the past were now part of my blight and I didn't know what to do. I felt as though I was 16 years old again and back in the outpatient drug treatment program, realizing for the first time that I am an addict. That was a profound day for me, one that I hope to never forget. The day was just as profound the second time around.

So begins this part of my life's journey.

Sad Goodbye

2007-01-25T02:09:00.000-06:00

It would seem that my Grandmother has given up the will to live and is ready to leave this world. Grandpa died last year on April 1 and Grandma has simply been broken-hearted since that awful day. Grandpa and Grandma had been married for 74 years and were entirely devoted to one another throughout their lives. When Grandpa died, a big part of Grandma died with him.

Upon hearing the news of her failing health tonight, I immediately wanted to go to her. She lives in a very nice nursing home in Northern Iowa, about 4 hours from here. The nurses are wonderful and have taken exceptional care of Grandma. When talking to my father, I mentioned wanting to make the trip tomorrow. He said, "There is really nothing you can do for her."

"I know that," I replied. "I just want to be with her, I don't want her to die alone." I would want someone there with me in my final moments, I think. How about you? Do you want someone there by your side when your final moment arrives? Or would you rather embark on that journey alone? I suppose I've projected my own feelings onto the rest of the world and assumed that everyone else would want to be with a loved one when the time to die finally arrives. However, perhaps I am wrong.

Still, I want to hold her hand, tell her not to be afraid, tell her I love her, tell her what a remarkable woman she is and remind her of the wonderful life she had with Grandpa and that they'll be together once again very soon. I want to be there to make her final moments happy, to hold her, to make her smile. I want to be there to say goodbye.

What do you think?

2007-01-12T01:10:00.000-06:00

I found this article recently and, believe it or not, cannot decide how I feel about this story. My feelings are mixed and I've played the Devil's Advocate for both sides on the issue; surprisingly, I am still a fence-rider right in the middle. So... I thought it might be interesting and helpful to hear your perspective. It's a tough quagmire of a situation... any takers?

The Audacity of Hope

2007-01-08T00:19:00.000-06:00

I recently started reading Barack Obama's book The Audacity of Hope, a gift which I received for Christmas. I'm only on the second chapter at this point, but I have found myself inspired and uplifted by a few things I've seen thus far. I agree with much of what Senator Obama has written and, sadly, find myself among the ranks of folks that he speaks of in his book... those that focus more on what drives us apart instead of that which we have in common.

You see, I am a liberal. Always have been and likely always will be. That is simply the perspective from which I view life and politics. I've consistently found the need to vehemently defend most anything liberal and criticize that which might be considered conservative. I've even gone so far to be outright unfriendly and hostile toward conservative viewpoints. Why? Because I've always focused on the differences between conservatives and myself.

However, after a little soul-searching and a lot of inspiration from Senator Obama, I see the err of my ways. While I know that old habits die hard, I'm committed to being more open-minded, tolerant, understanding, empathic, and philosophically considerate of those views that are different from my own. I am committed to looking beyond the surface of the politics cesspool that we trudge through today, leaving the sludge of differences behind and instead focusing on the commonalities we share.

I thought I would share a few paragraphs from Obama's book that I found particularly eye-opening and engaging. For me, at least, these words touched a part of me that yearns for change and wants to believe that things can be different, better.

"It is to say that after all the trappings of office -- the titles, the staff, the security details -- are stripped away, I find the President and those who surround him to be pretty much like everybody else, possessed of the same mix of virtues and vices, insecurities and long-buried injuries, as the rest of us. No matter how wrongheaded I might consider their policies to be -- and no matter how much I might insist that they be held accountable for the results of such policies -- I still find it possible, in talking to these men and women, to understand their motives, and to recognize in them values I share.

This is not an easy posture to maintain in Washington. The stakes involved in Washington policy debates are often so high -- whether we send our young men and women to war; whether we allow stem cell research to go forward -- that even small differences in perspective are magnified. The demands of part loyalty, the imperative of campaigns, and the amplification of conflict by the media all contribute to an atmosphere of suspicion. Moreover, most people who serve in Washington have been trained as either as lawyers or political operatives -- professions that tend to place a premium on winning arguments rather than solving problems. I can see how, after a certain amount of time in the capital, it becomes tempting to assume that those who disagree with you have fundamentally different values -- indeed, that they are motivated by bad faith, and perhaps are bad people."

...

"More often, though, finding the right balance between our competing values is difficult. Tensions arise not because we have steered a wrong course, but simply because we live in a complex and contradictory world. I firmly believe, for example, that since 9/11, we have played fast and loose with constitutional principles in the fight against terrorism. But I acknowledge that even the wisest president and most prudent Congress would struggle to balance the critical demands of our collective security against the equally compelling need to uphold civil liberties. I believe our economic policies pay too little attention to the displacement of manufacturing workers and the destruction of manufacturing towns. But I cannot wish away the sometimes competing demands of economic security and competitiveness.

Unfortunately, too often in our national debates we don't even get to the point where we weigh these difficult choices. Instead, we either exaggerate the degree to which policies we don't like impinge on our most sacred values, or play dumb when our own preferred policies conflict with important countervailing values. Conservatives, for instance, tend to bristle when it comes to government interference in the marketplace or their right to bear arms. Yet many of these same conservatives show little to no concern when it comes to government wiretapping without a warrant or government attempts to control people's sexual practices. Conversely, it's easy to get most liberals riled up about government's encroachments on freedom of the press or a woman's reproductive freedoms. But if you have a conversation with these same liberals about the potential costs of regulation to a small business owner, you will often draw a blank stare.

In a country as diverse as ours, there will always be passionate arguments about how we draw the line when it comes to government action. That is how our democracy works. But our democracy might work a bit better if we recognized that all of us possess values that are worthy of respect: if liberals at least acknowledged that the recreational hunter feels the same way about his gun as they feel about their library books, and if conservatives recognized that most women feel as protective of their right to reproductive freedom as evangelicals do of their right to worship ... No one is exempt from the call to find common ground."

Ethical Stem Cells - Could It Be True?

2007-01-08T00:12:00.000-06:00

I am an avid supporter of stem cell research and know many people that might one day benefit from scientific breakthroughs in this oft-tempestuous field of exploration. This article is interesting in that it presents an alternative to using embryonic stem cells while still seemingly providing similar benefits to ESC's. Perhaps this discovery will be the key to overcoming the moral objections some have to stem cell research while allowing scientific research and progress to continue. Oh, how I hope it true.

Time to Color

2007-01-04T09:13:00.000-06:00

In the span of a recent week, the following happened:

I was referred to as my daughter's Grandmother.
I received a Senior Citizen's Discount on my purchase at Kohl's, a local retail store.

Ugh. I guess it is time to pull the hair color off the shelf again. Sheesh, doesn't the world know that younger folks can have gray hair, too? Sigh.

Genetic Roulette

2006-12-07T22:07:00.000-06:00

Great news! We got the results of Jesse's Cystic Fibrosis test and...

drumroll please...

he is perfectly normal! Woo hoo!

With that turn at the genetic roulette wheel behind us, we are full of relief and are now focused on his physical therapy. He had another session today with his PT and he is making great headway. Between his newfound ability to prop himself up on his elbows and the mobility he's found with his army commando crawl, I think he's discovering how much fun it can be to look at the world from a couple different angles. He's such a good-natured baby and takes all the PT in stride, never uttering one complaint. We're very blessed.

Nature Erotica

2006-12-03T20:14:00.000-06:00

These pics were just too good not to share...

If you build it, Stacey will come!

2006-12-02T22:29:00.000-06:00

Thanks to my friend, Heather, for this lil bit o' movie line inspiration. It was kinda fun! :-)

Lions and tigers and Stacey, oh my! (Wizard of Oz)

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Stacey on fire off the shoulder of Orion. (Blade Runner)

You don't understand! I coulda had class! I coulda been a Stacey! (On the Waterfront)

That'll do, Stacey. That'll do. (Babe)

Stacey? Where we're going, we don't need Stacey. (Back to the Future)

Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce Stacey, aren't you? (The Graduate)

Soylent Green is Stacey! (Soylent Green)

I bet you can squeal like a Stacey. (Deliverance)

I love the smell of Stacey in the morning. (Apocalypse Now)

They may take away our Stacey, but they'll never take our freedom! (Braveheart)

You've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel Stacey? Well, do ya, punk? (Dirty Harry)

I defy you! Come and kneel before Stacey! (Superman II)

I have to say, of all the quotes, the last one is my personal favorite. Now kneel and lick my boots!

Happy December

2006-12-02T11:37:00.000-06:00

I can hardly believe I missed an entire month of blogging! Man oh man, the time does indeed fly by faster the older you get. Now, on to the latest and greatest...

After three rounds of antibiotics, Jesse is finally over his ear infections. He still has quite a bit of congestion and an accompanying cough, although the volume of mucus has decreased during the last couple of weeks. The doctor suspected he was experiencing a bit of acid reflux which was irritating his throat and causing excess mucus production; she prescribed Prilosec once a day and it seems to have helped some. Jesse will undergo a sweat test for Cystic Fibrosis on Monday, 12-4-06, at Childrens Hospital. We're hoping and praying the test is negative... it'll be a nice relief to finally know. Sometimes, I think the hardest parts of life are the unknowns we all experience from time to time.

Jesse has also been evaluated by an Occupational Therapist, a Physical Therapist, and a teacher from the local school system. His cognitive and fine motor skills are age-appropriate, but his large motor skills are developmentally delayed. Therefore, he qualified for Physical Therapy offered by our school district and the Munroe-Meyer Institute at the University of Nebraska Medical Center. He'll work with his PT 2-3 times each month with the hope that we'll be able to strengthen his upper body enough to allow him to sit up, pull up, and eventually stand up on his own.

We've made the final decision to homeschool our oldest child, Kayley, starting in January. The paperwork is done and has been sent off to the state, I've been putting together lesson plans and scheduling field trips, and we've been preparing Kayley for the change as best we can. I'm a bit apprehensive about the transition, but am also very excited about the possibilities that lie ahead. Kayley is a hands-on learner, a do-er, and it has been very difficult for her to sit at a desk for hours and hours in a public school setting. I think she'll be able to really excel in a homeschool environment and will feel better about herself as a result.

On Saturday, November 11, we saw Bill Clinton speak at the Girls, Inc. "Lunch for the Girls" fundraiser. As we had anticipated, he was inspirational and hopeful. It was an exciting opportunity to hear him speak and benefit a wonderful organization in our community.

During the Thanksgiving holiday, we lost the transmission on our van during our trip home from visiting my Grandmother in Northern Iowa. Just when you think you might be getting ahead a bit, something comes along and snatches that hope right out from underneath you. Sigh.

Hope all had a happy Thanksgiving holiday... Christmas is just around the corner. Here's to the holiday season. Cheers.

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T22:51:00.000-06:00

This was kind of fun...

Hope everyone had a ghoulish night.

Happy Halloween!

Not to Worry

2006-10-31T12:52:00.000-06:00

Our littlest guy, Jesse, has struggled with ear infections and upper-respiratory "goop" for over a month now. He finished his first course of antibiotics with no improvement whatsoever. Our pediatrician put him on a stronger antibiotic and we found out this morning, there has only been a slight, but no substantial, improvement. We're now embarking upon the third course of antibiotics and are hopeful that this one will do the trick.

Jesse has also had a persistent cough and excessive mucus discharge for the last few weeks, all while on the antibiotics. Each morning, afternoon, and evening, we've aspirated 4-6 syringes of thick, green snot from his little nose. We've tried a humidifier in his room at night, but still the snot and cough remains.

Our doctor wants to give the third antibiotic a chance to clear up his infection. However, if it doesn't do the trick, she wants us to see an ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat) Specialist for evaluation. She indicated that she'd like Jess to be tested for Cystic Fibrosis as well. "Not to worry," she said, "I'd just like to rule it out as a last possibility if all else fails."

We've known our pediatrician for a number of years and she has taken excellent care of all three of our children. We trust her implicitly and greatly value her education, insight, and the aggressive and thorough approach with which she cares for our childrens' health. She has always been very honest with us and, perhaps hubby and I both come from science backgrounds, she tends to speak medical-ese pretty frequently with us. However, if we ever have questions, she "dumbs it down" for us to ensure we understand. My point, I suppose, is that we truly love Dr. Vicki, as do our kids, and we couldn't have found a better pediatrician.

Yet, when I hear the name of a dreaded disease like Cystic Fibrosis, I can't help but worry, even when this wonderful woman and talented doctor tells me not to. Despite the trust we've placed in her through the years and the level of confidence we have in her medical abilities and her calm, reassuring demeanor, I can't help but worry. Even though I don't want to be one of those drama-filled, overreactive, panicky parents, I can't help but worry. With all of the logic, research, and knowledge in my head, I can't help but worry.

So... there it is. I will wear a positive attitude and put on an optimistic, smiling face because that is what I am supposed to do. I am his Mother and I must be strong. But, secretly, I feel a horrible sense of dread and terror at the thought of... well, I don't even want to say the words. There may be nothing wrong whatsoever, I tell myself. Yet, I can't help but worry.

We've also got a Physical Therapist, an Occupational Therapist, a teacher, and a PT student coming to our home on Friday to evaluate Jess because he's over nine months old now and still isn't sitting up on his own yet. Poor/low muscle tone, they call it. Yes, I know that kids reach milestones in their own time and when they are ready. If they can't help him and he doesn't show some improvement in the next three months or so, our pediatrician has recommended a referral to a neurologist. "Not to worry," I've been told. You got it... I can't help but worry.

I'm hoping that he is simply struggling a bit at the moment and that we will soon be able to count our lucky stars that we've averted a medical crisis like Cystic Fibrosis or some other issue. Until that time however, even if you're not the God-believing type, please say a prayer or send some well-wishes this way with the hope that our little guy only gets healthier and stronger with each passing day. He... all of us... can use all the help we can get.

Lunch for the Girls

2006-10-30T20:42:00.000-06:00

Hubby and I recently enrolled our daughter, Kayley, at Girls, Inc. where she spends time with other girls after school and experiences fun-filled field trips on days when her school is not in session. So far, the experience has been a positive one and we continue to be amazed by all that Girls, Inc. does for the young women of this city and country, all without asking much in return.

For each of the last few years, Girls Incorporated of Omaha has hosted a fundraising and awareness luncheon to bring attention and money to their cause. We were incredibly excited to discover that President Bill Clinton will be the keynote speaker at this year's luncheon for the girls. As most of you know, I find him and the work he's doing now inspiring and motivational and I can't help but want to get involved in some way, any way, to further the causes of his foundation and make the world a better place, if not for my generation, for my children. I simply cannot wait to hear all that he has to say.

So... on Saturday, November 11th around lunchtime, you know where we'll be. More info to come after his speech. :)

What Have We Become?

2006-10-21T22:07:00.000-06:00

Is nothing sacred to the human race any longer? Some depressing headlines for your daily reality check...

Man Accused of Having Relations with Dog
It's one thing to have a human penetrated in beastiality "flings," but quite another for the animal to be violated.

Mexico Gangs Display Severed Heads
A lost and unimaginable world...

Congo Park Hippos Face Extinction
Not much hope for the few hippos that are left. This shit just makes me angry.

City Chief Quits Amid Reports of 20 Child Deaths
Philadelphia's tax money so hard at work...

Suicidal, Text-Messaging Teen Kills Woman (A Mother of Three)
Scorned, spoiled, rich, lesbian, Benz-driving brat takes away one of the most important things in the world to three little children. Fuck her.

High School Boy Fatally Stabbed at Campus Bus Stop
When is enough, enough? School violence is one of the compelling reasons I'm seriously considering homeschooling my kids. Between shootings and stabbings and the poor performance of our schools, I'm quickly losing the little faith and hope I had in our education system.

Priest Admits Fondling Foley, Says It Wasn't Abuse
I'm sorry, but if you're fondling a teenage boy, it's fucking abuse. If, as a priest, you've gone skinny-dipping with one of your teenage alter boys, it's fucking abuse.

Poll: Half of Americans Think Congress is Corrupt
No... really?!

Four US Soldiers Charged with Rape and Murder
One of the saddest stories I've read in some time. Bastards raped a 14-year old girl while her 5-year old sister and parents were killed in the next room. My God, what are we doing to each other?

Liberal or Conservative?

2006-10-21T21:53:00.000-06:00

Alright, Heather has me hooked on these things now. :)
My political profile... hmmm... I guess there are no big surprises.

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 30% Conservative, 70% Liberal

Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

Sweet Talker

2006-10-21T21:51:00.000-06:00

Your Seduction Style: Sweet Talker

Your seduction technique can be
summed up with "charm."
You know that if you have the chance to talk to someone... well, you won't be talking for long!

You're great at telling potential lovers
what they want to hear.
Partially, because you're a great reflective listener and good at complementing.
The other part of your formula? Focusing your conversation completely on the other person.

Your "sweet talking" ways have taken
you far in romance - and in life.
You can finesse your way through any difficult situation, with a smile on your face.
Speeding tickets, job interviews... bring it on! You truly live a *charmed life.*

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

A Seeker Soul

2006-10-20T01:23:00.000-06:00

Thanks to my Visionary Soulmate, Heather.

		A Seeker Soul
		You are on a quest for knowledge and life challenges. You love to be curious and ask a ton of questions. Since you know so much, you make for an interesting conversationalist. Mentally alert, you can outwit almost anyone (and have fun doing it!). Very introspective, you can be silently critical of others. And your quiet nature makes it difficult for people to get to know you. You see yourself as a philosopher, and you take everything philosophically. Your main talent is expressing and communicating ideas. Souls you are most compatible with: Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Un-Adoption?

2006-10-11T22:05:00.000-06:00

In Virginia, a woman who adopted her son at the age of 9 is attempting to dissolve the adoption of the boy who is now 15.

According to CNN, "After the youngster molested a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl in 2003, he was deemed a "sexual predator" by psychologists. That meant that if he remained in Briggs' home, she could no longer be a foster parent to others or allow her three grandchildren in her home, so she chose to try to dissolve the adoption."

"You don't want to throw somebody away," said Helen Briggs, a longtime foster mother. "But sometimes you have to."

Sometimes you have to??? No, you don't have to... you choose to. What is this boy supposed to think when his own parents are trying to throw him away after adopting him over 6 years ago? Whatever happened to unconditional parental love? What would she do if one of her biological children were deemed a sexual predator?

I realize others may disagree, but for me:

No matter what my child does, I will always love him.
I may not like the behavior of my child, but I will always love her.
You don't throw away a child because of things they do or don't do.
You can raise your children the best you can, instilling values and morals. In the end, he has to make his own choices in the world and live with the consequences of those choices.
Is it sad that this woman's child is a sexual predator? Yes.
Has the system that should have protected and helped him failed? Yes.
Did he ask to be beaten? Shuffled from foster home to foster home for the first years of his life? Sexually molested himself? No.
Can he be helped? I don't know.
Does he still deserve to be loved? Yes. He is her child. There are no guarantees in life, not even with our children. Shit happens. Deal with it.

Shame on her.

Can You Find the Man?

2006-10-10T23:21:00.000-06:00

How will you do? Doctors have concluded that if you find the man buried in the coffee beans within:

3 seconds, the right half of your brain is better developed than most people.
4 seconds to 1 minute, your right half of the brain is developed normally.
1 - 3 minutes, the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you may need to eat more protein.
Or, if you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of your brain stronger!

Random and Useless Trivia

2006-10-10T20:13:00.000-06:00

Inspired by Kristin, 100 little factoids about yours truly. Thanks for the idea, Kristin!

I have three older brothers and one older sister.
I am a Pisces.
I spent the first seven years of my life in a little town called Peculiar.
I've lived in Missouri, Nebraska, Utah, Texas, and Virginia.
I hate getting my hands dirty and gooey while doing the dishes.
My favorite breed of dog is a beagle.
I collect giraffes.
I worked at a zoo for about two years and thought it was one of the best, most fascinating experiences of my life.
I am a biologist. However, I'm one of the many that fail to use their degree after graduation.
I'm the only college graduate in my family.
I have diabetes.
I see a therapist once each week.
I've had five surgeries so far in my life.
I "recharge my batteries" by being creative or immersing myself in the great outdoors.
One of the grossest things I've ever done is stick my fingers up a dog's butt to express it's anal glands. Note, this is not some strange fetish. I worked at a vet clinic at the time.
My husband and I adopted our oldest child, Kayley.
I'm definitely a dog person.
As a teenager, I was a kleptomaniac. Despite the dozens of occasions on which I stole something, I was arrested only twice.
I've struggled with depression for years.
I was baptized a Methodist as an adult.
I love to travel, camp, and explore that which I've not seen before.
I have naturally curly hair.
I always wanted to be a veterinarian. I applied to Kansas State University's College of Veterinary Medicine during my junior year in college. I made the alternate list, but was never officially admitted. Finally, I decided I wanted to be a Mom more than I wanted to be a vet.
I love to take naps. Love, love, love, love, love them.
I used to be a gaming junkie. I could sit at the computer playing a game for 12+ hours straight and have even called in absent to work so the games could go on.
I smoke but often wish that I didn't.
I love to drink wine. Hate beer.
While I can work and play well with others, I really don't prefer to be around lots of people.
I love to play Pictionary but am not all that crazy about playing Trivial Pursuit.
I played soccer for years and years as a kid.
I hate to drive at night, especially when it's raining.
My favorite season is autumn, followed closely by spring.
In retirement, I hope to live in the mountains.
I've learned that, despite my best-laid plans and a very efficient timeline, fate doesn't always agree with my intentions and almost always has a very different plan in mind for my life.
While hypnotized on stage at a comedy club, I once dry-humped a huge, inflatable penis. The video is quite dreadful.
I am a liberal through and through. However, I find that as I age, I'm not quite as liberal as I used to be.
I loved Bill Clinton as our President and I haven't seen a more prosperous time before or since his era. I really admire Bill for the philanthropic work he does today. Each time I hear him speak, I am excited by his passion and feel very inspired by his leadership. Makes me prouder than ever to be a Democrat.
I believe I can receive messages from the other side. I believe we can all receive these messages, if we only open our minds and learn to listen.
I have a good sense of humor, although it doesn't always agree with everyone else around me.
I wish I knew my brothers and sisters better than I do. I wish I could tell them that.
My favorite movies as a kid were Old Yeller and The Wizard of Oz. Today, my favorites are Braveheart, all Harry Potter flicks, JFK, The Polar Express, The Notebook, and Office Space.
I am an obsessive to-do-list-maker.
I have the tendency to have wild and careless spending sprees at times, especially when my depression is raging.
I love my children more than anything or anyone else on Earth.
When I die, I want a "green" burial. I also want Jimmy to play his guitar and sing Black Bird at my funeral, although he doesn't yet know this.
I love to learn and could easily be an eternal student.
I like my steaks thick, juicy, and rare as can be.
I love to collect differently colored pens and various kinds of paper. Love it.
I am an optimist and hope I always will be. Pessimists and cynics take the wind right out of my sails.
I have very few really good friends - I can count them on one hand.
I tend to be very judgemental and I hate that about myself.
My favorite numbers are 7, 8, 16, and 21.
I would like to have four children.
I love to ride horses.
I enjoy writing and it has always been one of my strengths.
I crave organization.
I am attracted to dark-haired men.
I don't watch a lot of network TV, but I really like Boston Legal, CSI, and Law & Order. My favorite HBO series include Deadwood, Six Feet Under, Big Love, and Sopranos.
I would like to visit every continent before I die.
I'm afraid of heights.
One of my favorite things to do is lie in bed in the AM and listen to my baby boy cooing in the next room.
I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.
I like playing God, in video games that is.
I don't know if I believe in God or not.
My nickname is wapiti, the Shawnee word for elk, meaning white rump. The name is fitting as I have a, err... white butt.
While I enjoy managing a team of people, I am no longer interested in corporate ladder climbing.
My biggest pet peeves include coming home to a messy house after work, clutter, gossips, people who insist they are right or know best when their opinions differ from my own, an egregious use of profanity, wanton violence, people who play the victim, drama queens, and those that fail to consider the needs of others.
I like sleeping with the windows open at night.
I often feel helpless and hopeless when I look at the state of the world and what humans are doing to it and each other.
I hate watching sports.
I have recently discovered the joy of reading for pleasure.
I hate scrubbing the bathtub and toilet.
I love extra hot and spicy Mexican food. Chinese and Italian foods are next on my list of favorites.
My favorite colors are teal and plum.
I've seen the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans. I prefer the Pacific.
As a teen, I smoked pot and huffed aerosols. I attribute my recent memory loss to this phase of my life.
I wish I had never hurt my parents while I was growing up.
I was married to a wonderful man on May 11, 1991, at the age of 20.
I have lots of gray hairs that have found their way to my head early in life, a trait I can attribute to my father's side of the family. I hate the grays. I hate it that I hate them.
I've struggled with my weight throughout my life.
I've worn eyeglasses since I was two years old.
I like pornography.
I dislike cooked spinach, but like most other vegetables.
Paper towels and toilet paper must come off the top of the roll.
I tend to obsess about negative issues, scenarios, or possibilities while I'm in the shower or trying to go to sleep at night.
I wish I would have listened when my Mother tried to teach me to cook.
I played the clarinet and the drums when I was a kid, but I had always wanted to play the saxophone. So... in my late 20's, I started renting a sax and took lessons for awhile. Cross that one off my "To Do in Life" list!
I love saltwater taffy, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and chewy caramel candies.
I like to spend a lot of time alone whenever I can.
I'm a people-watcher.
I am rather hot-blooded and so I prefer cooler temperatures as I get overheated easily.
I would rather stay up late and sleep in late rather than go to bed and rise early.
Although I worry about morning breath, I like morning sex.
I used to love fellatio, but not so much anymore. Now, I love doggy-style sex.
I love to ponder the wonders of the universe while looking at the night sky stars.
I'm a "what-you-see-is-what-you-get" type of person.
At work, I will always be one of the best employees on the team. If I'm not one of my Manager's favorite people, I feel very uncomfortable and ostracized.
I have only one living grandparent left; I wish I had had the opportunity to get to know my other grandparents as well.
I love geneaology and have spent countless hours tracing my family tree.
I need to learn to forgive myself for mistakes that I've made. I'm getting better, but still need to work on letting things go.

That is all. :)

Eerie

2006-10-03T11:31:00.000-06:00

I was driving on Blair High Road in Omaha recently and saw a wooden cross at the side of the road, presumably marking the site of someone's death. I had to do a double-take when I saw the name that was engraved on the cross...

Jimmy Davis

Weird, huh? Most of you will understand why.

Quit Yer Bitchin' 'Bout Bill

2006-09-30T22:21:00.000-06:00

My very good friend, Jimmy, put a post on his blog about Bill Clinton's recent interview on Fox News. While I love Jimmy dearly, I despise his views on Clinton. For so long, Clinton has been bashed and battered repeatedly for reasons I don't completely understand. From my humble perspective, my life was incredibly prosperous during the Clinton era. In fact, during the eight years Bill was the leader of our country, I think a lot of people's lives were incredibly prosperous, much more than they are now. Did he make mistakes? Sure he did. He's human after all. Yet, I can't understand the readiness with which people will attack him. Let us not forget all the positive accomplishments he achieved during his Presidency. I certainly won't.

From www.mikehersh.com:

15 million working families enjoyed tax relief under President Clinton's expanded Earned Income Tax Credit. Thanks to Clinton, the EITC lifted 4.3 million people out of poverty in 1998 alone.
1.5 million children benefited when Clinton more than doubled federal funding for child care.
Clinton increased funding for the Head Start program by 90 percent in FY 2000 so 880,000 children had a better chance to learn and grow.
Clinton forced the minimum wage up from $4.25 to $5.15 per hour and demanded an increase to $6.15.
Clinton's Workforce Investment Act reformed the nation's employment and training system.
Clinton's AmeriCorps gave 150,000 young people the opportunity to serve in their communities while earning money for college or skills training.
President Clinton's One America initiatives challenged us to respect others' differences and embrace the common values that unite us. "[T]o close the opportunity gaps that exist for minorities and the underserved in this country."
The poverty rate fell from 15.1 percent in 1993 to 12.7 percent in 1998. That's the lowest poverty rate since 1979 and the largest five-year drop in poverty in nearly 30 years (1965-1970). The African-American poverty rate dropped from 33.1 percent in 1993 to 26.1 percent in 1998 -- the lowest level ever recorded and the largest five-year drop in African-American poverty in more than a quarter century (1967-1972). The poverty rate for Hispanics fell to the lowest level since 1979, and dropped to 25.6 percent in 1998.
African-American unemployment fell from 14.2 percent in 1992 to 7.3 percent in March 2000 -- the lowest rate on record. The unemployment rate for Hispanics fell from 11.6 percent in 1992 to 6.3 percent in March 2000 -- and in the last year has been at the lowest rate on record. For women, the unemployment rate was 4.3 percent in March 2000, nearly the lowest since 1953 [when few women sought employment outside the home].
In 1999, the homeownership rate was 66.8 percent -- the highest ever recorded. Minority homeownership rates were also the highest ever recorded.
Under President Clinton and Vice President Gore, child poverty declined from 22.7 percent in 1993 to 18.9 percent in 1998 -- the biggest five-year drop in nearly 30 years. The poverty rate for African-American children fell from 46.1 percent in 1993 to 36.7 percent in 1998 -- the lowest level in 20 years and the biggest five-year drop on record. The rate also fell for Hispanic children, from 36.8 percent to 34.4 percent - and is now 6.5 percentage points lower than it was in 1993.

Other accomplishments to tout:

The strongest economy in a generation. In February 2000, the United States entered the 107th consecutive month of economic expansion -- the longest economic expansion in U.S. history.
In 1992, the deficit was $290 billion, a record high. In 2000, we had a projected budget surplus of $167 billion -- the largest dollar surplus on record (even after adjusting for inflation) and the largest as a share of our economy since 1951. This is the first time we have had three surpluses in a row in more than a half century.
21.2 million new jobs were created from 1993-2000, the most jobs ever created under a single Administration -- and more new jobs than Presidents Reagan and Bush created during their three terms. 92 percent (19.4 million) of the new jobs were created in the private sector, the highest percentage in 50 years.
Under President Clinton and Vice President Gore, the economy has added an average of 248,000 jobs per month, the highest under any President. This compares to 52,000 per month under President Bush and 167,000 per month under President Reagan.
The United States had five consecutive years of real wage growth -- the longest consecutive increase since the 1960s. Since 1993, real wages are up 6.8 percent, after declining 4.3 percent during the Reagan and Bush years.
15 million additional working families received additional tax relief because of the President�s expansion of the Earned Income Tax Credit. In 1998, the EITC lifted 4.3 million people out of poverty - double the number lifted out of poverty by the EITC in 1993.
President Clinton proposed expanding FMLA to allow workers to take up to 24 unpaid hours off each year for school and early childhood education activities, routine family medical care, and caring for an elderly relative.
Americans with disabilities often become ineligible for Medicaid or Medicare if they work, forcing a choice between health care and employment. The Work Incentives Improvement Act, signed by Clinton, keeps people with disabilities from losing their Medicare or Medicaid health coverage when they go to work.
The Adoption and Safe Families Act, which was based in large part on the recommendations of the Clinton-Gore Administration's Adoption 2002 report, made sweeping changes in adoption law so that thousands of children in foster care move more quickly into safe and permanent homes. In 1998, 36,000 children in foster care were adopted, up from 28,000 in 1996. This was the first significant increase in adoption since the national foster care program was established nearly 20 years earlier.
Nearly 20,000 young people leave foster care each year when they reach age 18. They leave the system without having an adoptive family or other guardian. The Foster Care Independence Act ensures that those young people will get the tools they need to make the most of their lives by providing them better educational opportunities, access to health care, training, housing assistance, counseling, and other services.
The President and Vice President developed and implemented the first-ever plan to protect our children from tobacco and end tobacco marketing targeted to young people. They also required the installation of V-chips in all new televisions, and encouraged schools to adopt school uniform policies to deter school violence and promote discipline.
In 1997, President Clinton proposed and passed the HOPE Scholarships and Lifetime Learning tax credits to provide tax relief to nearly 13 million Americans each year who are struggling to pay for college.
The Clinton-Gore Administration cut student fees and interest rates on all loans, expanded repayment options including income contingent repayment, and improved service through the Direct Loan Program. As of 2000, students saved $8.7 billion since 1993 through the reduction in loan fees and interest rates.
The Clinton-Gore Administration won a second installment of $1.3 billion for the President's plan to hire an additional 100,000 well-prepared teachers to reduce class size in the early grades, when children learn to read and master the basic skills.
11 million low-income students in 13,000 school districts now benefit from higher expectations and a challenging curriculum geared to higher standards through Title I-Aid to Disadvantaged Students. The FY 2000 budget provided a $134 million accountability fund to help turn around the worst performing schools and hold them accountable for results through such measures as overhauling curriculum, improving staffing, or even closing schools and reopening them as charter schools.
The Clinton-Gore Administration worked to expand public school choice and support the growth of public charter schools, which have increased from one public charter school in the nation when the President was first elected to more than 1,700. More than 250,000 students nationwide are now enrolled in charter schools in 30 states and the District of Columbia.
The President challenged Americans to unite to be sure that every child can read well and independently by the third grade -- 1,400 colleges and universities took up his challenge, and in the year 2000, over 25,000 college work-study students now serve as reading tutors to help every child to read well and independently by the third grade.
The President and Vice President created the Technology Literacy Challenge Fund to help connect every school to the Internet, increase the number of multimedia computers in the classroom and provide technology training for teachers. They increased overall investments in educational technology from $23 million in 1993 to $769 million in FY 2000, and tripled funding for Community Technology Centers to reach at least 120 low-income communities.
The President and Vice President expanded Head Start funding by 90 percent from 1993-2000. Head Start helped approximately 880,000 low-income children in FY 2000. The Administration also created Early Head Start, bringing Head Start's successful comprehensive services to families with children ages zero to three, and set high quality standards for both programs.
Under the Clinton-Gore Administration, America experienced the longest and continuous drop in crime on record. The overall crime rate is the lowest in 25 years.
In 1999, ahead of schedule and under budget, the Clinton-Gore Administration met its commitment to fund an additional 100,000 police officers for our communities. As a part of the COPS Program, the President announced new grants to increase community policing in high-crime and underserved neighborhoods. To help keep crime at record lows, the President won funding for the first installment toward his goal to hire up to 50,000 more officers by 2005.
Since the President signed the Brady Bill into law, more than 500,000 felons, fugitives and domestic abusers have been prevented from purchasing guns. And the historic 1994 Crime Bill banned 19 of the deadliest assault weapons and their copies, keeping assault weapons off our streets.
The President enacted the Hate Crimes Sentencing Enhancement Act in 1994. He held the historic White House Conference on Hate Crimes, where he called for passage of the Hate Crimes Prevention Act -- bipartisan legislation which would strengthen hate crimes laws and make it clear that America will not tolerate acts of violence based on race, color, gender, national origin, religion, sexual orientation or disability.
Protecting children from sex offenders, President Clinton signed Megan's Law and the Jacob Wetterling Crimes Against Children and Sexually Violent Offender Registration Act, requiring states to set up sex offender registration systems and require community notification when sex offenders are released from prison.
During the Clinton era, the number of Americans on welfare was at its lowest level since 1969 as record numbers of people moved from welfare to work. Between 1993-2000, the welfare rolls fell by more than half, from 14.1 million to 6.9 million.
The 1997 Balanced Budget Act signed by President Clinton included $3 billion to move long-term welfare recipients and low-income non-custodial fathers into jobs.
President Clinton secured over 110,000 new housing vouchers to help welfare recipients and hard-pressed working families move closer to job opportunities. The Welfare-to-Work Tax Credit provides tax incentives to encourage businesses to hire long-term welfare recipients.
President Clinton signed into law the toughest child support crackdown in history. Federal and state child support programs broke new records in 1999, collecting $15.5 billion -- nearly double the amount collected in 1992. The number of paternities established rose to nearly 1.5 million in 1998 - more than triple the number from 516,000 in 1992. The number of child support cases with collections rose 59 percent, from 2.8 million 1992 to 4.5 million in 1998.
The teen birth rate has fallen seven years in a row, by 18 percent from 1991 to 1998. The teen pregnancy rate is now the lowest rate on record.
The Clinton-Gore Administration created 31 rural and urban Empowerment Zones and more than 100 Enterprise Communities that have created new jobs, new opportunities and stronger communities.
In the 1997 Balanced Budget, the Clinton-Gore Administration protected, modernized and extended the life of the Medicare Trust Fund while offering new options for patient choice and preventive care. However, when President Clinton and Vice President Gore took office, Medicare was expected to run out of money in 1999.
The five year, $24 billion State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) will provide health care coverage for up to five million children.
The President signed into law the Kennedy-Kassebaum Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, which helps individuals keep health insurance when they change jobs, guarantees renewability of coverage, and ensures access to health insurance for small businesses.
The President signed into law the 1997 FDA Modernization Act that includes important measures to modernize and streamline the regulation of biological products; increase patient access to experimental drugs and medical devices; and accelerate review of important new medications.
To help eliminate discrimination against individuals with mental illnesses, the President signed into law mental health parity provisions to prohibit health plans from establishing separate lifetime and annual limits for mental health coverage.
President Clinton signed into law common sense legislation that requires health plans to allow new mothers to remain in the hospital for at least 48 hours following most normal deliveries and 96 hours after a Cesarean section, eliminating previously-common drive-thru deliveries.
The Clinton-Gore Administration has issued the toughest nursing home regulations in the history of the Medicare and Medicaid programs, including increased monitoring of nursing homes to ensure that they are in compliance; requiring states to crack down on nursing homes that repeatedly violate health and safety requirements; and changing the inspection process to increase the focus on preventing bedsores, malnutrition and resident abuse.
Childhood immunization coverage rates in 1998 were the highest ever recorded. 90 percent of toddlers in 1996, 1997 and 1998 received the most critical doses of each of the routinely recommended vaccines, surpassing the President's 1993 goal.
The President unveiled a historic new FDA regulation that, for the first time, requires over-the-counter drug products to use a new product label with larger print and clearer language, making it easier for consumers to understand product warnings and comply with dosage guidance.
The Clinton-Gore Administration took strong steps to protect a woman's right to choose and to promote safe reproductive health services for women. The President provided contraceptive coverage to more than a million women covered by federal health plans; provided family planning services to low income women through the Medicaid program; and stood up against attempts to prohibit the FDA from approving RU-486.
The Clinton-Gore Administration protected tens of millions of acres, from the red rock canyons of Utah to the Florida everglades. The Administration reached agreements to protect Yellowstone from mining and save the ancient redwoods of California's Headwaters Forest.
In the FY 2000 budget, the President and Vice President won $651 million (a 42 percent increase) for Lands Legacy, a historic initiative to strengthen federal efforts to preserve national treasures and provides communities with new resources to protect local green spaces.
The Clinton-Gore Administration created four new national monuments: Grand Staircase-Escalante, protecting spectacular red rock canyonlands in Utah; Grand Canyon-Parashant, protecting deep canyons, mountains and buttes on the north rim of the Grand Canyon; Agua Fria, protecting extensive prehistoric ruins in Arizona; the California Coastal monument, protecting thousands of islands, rocks and reefs along the California coast. The Administration also expanded Pinnacles National Monument in California to better protect the area's unusual rock formations.
The President directed the National Forest Service to develop and propose regulations to provide long-term protection for 40 million acres of roadless areas within national forests and ensure that future generations will be able to enjoy the pristine wilderness.
The Clinton-Gore Administration has completed clean up at 525 Superfund sites, more than three times as many as completed in the previous twelve years.
The President proposed and signed legislation to strengthen the Safe Drinking Water Act to ensure that our families have healthy, clean tap water. The Clinton-Gore Administration has required America's 55,000 water utilities to provide regular reports to their customers on the quality of their drinking water.
The Administration also proposed new rule to reduce dirty runoff and strengthen protections for 20,000 rivers, lakes and other waterways too polluted for swimming and fishing. Ninety-one percent of America's tap water from community drinking water systems now meets all federal standards.
The President and Vice President adopted the toughest standards ever on soot and smog. They proposed significant reductions in tailpipe emissions from cars, light trucks and SUVs, and launched long-term effort to restore pristine skies over our national parks and wilderness areas. Since 1993, the number of Americans living in communities that meet federal air quality standards has grown by over 43 million.
The Clinton-Gore Administration negotiated an international treaty to reduce greenhouse gas emissions in an environmentally strong and economically sound way. The President and Vice President secured $1.1 billion in FY 2000 for research and development of energy efficiency and clean energy technologies, and set a goal of tripling U.S. use of bio-energy and bio-products by 2010.
The President issued an Executive Order directing agencies to dramatically improve energy efficiency in federal buildings, saving taxpayers over $750 million a year.
The President called for an increase of almost 50 percent over 5 years in the National Institutes of Health (NIH) budget as part of his Research for America Fund. Since that time, the NIH budget has increased by over $4.3 billion. As a result, NIH now supports the highest levels of research ever on nearly all types of disease and health conditions, making new breakthroughs possible in vaccine development and use, the treatment of chronic disease, and prevention and treatment of diseases such as diabetes, osteoporosis, heart disease, cancer, and neurological diseases like Alzheimers and Parkinsons.
The Clinton-Gore Administration won increased investment of $13.65 billion for NASA in FY 2000.
16,000 pages of Federal regulations have been eliminated by President Clinton and Vice President Gore as part of the Vice President's National Performance Review.
In 2000, there were 375,000 fewer employees in the Federal government workforce than in 1993, the smallest Federal workforce since the Kennedy Administration.
Also in 2000, at 18.7 percent, Federal Government spending as a share of the Gross Domestic Product was at its lowest level since 1974.
President Clinton signed the National Voter Registration Act during his first year in office -- making voting easier for millions more Americans, and leading to the registration of more than 28 million new voters.
Ended a decade of repression and reversed ethnic cleansing in Kosovo by leading the NATO alliance to victory in a 79-day air war against Serb forces, forcing their withdrawal and ushering in international peacekeepers.
Advancing the Middle East peace process by brokering peace agreements between Israel and its neighbors; negotiating the Wye River Accords; and supporting the launch of final settlement negotiations between the Israelis and Palestinians.
Restarted Israel-Syria track of Middle East peace process by holding first high-level meeting between the two former adversaries in Washington after months of behind-the-scenes Presidential diplomacy, and following that meeting with formal talks in January.
Brokered the Good Friday Peace Accord in Northern Ireland, ending decades of bloodshed.
Restored democracy in Haiti, ending military dictatorship and stopping refugee flows.
Supported transition to democracy in Nigeria and mediating peace efforts in Sierra Leone and Ethiopia-Eritrea.
Ended violence and protected democracy in East Timor by leading diplomatic efforts and supporting international peacekeeping mission.
Helped settle Peru-Ecuador border dispute and end civil war in Guatemala.
Pressed for human rights and religious freedom worldwide, including in China, Burma, Sudan.
Protected Americans from weapons of mass destruction by reducing Russian nuclear arsenals, easing nuclear tensions between India and Pakistan and ratifying the Chemical Weapons Convention.
Combated terrorism by developing a national counterterrorism strategy and striking terrorist targets in Afghanistan and Sudan.
Reduced North Korean threat through deterrence, diplomacy, and non-proliferation.
Contained Saddam Hussein through diplomacy, economic sanctions and military force.
Addressed new threats by protecting America's critical infrastructure from cyber-terrorism and biological and chemical weapons.
Improved military readiness through increased defense spending, with the first long-term sustained increase in defense funding in 15 years.
Built a more constructive relationship with China through engagement and frank dialogue on human rights, security and trade.
Deepened security alliances with Japan and South Korea.
Opened markets for U.S. exports abroad and created American jobs through NAFTA, GATT and more than 270 other free and fair trade agreements.
Integrated China into the world economy through landmark trade agreement that opened markets to U.S. exports, slashed Chinese tariffs, and protected American workers from dumping.
Established World Trade Organization to reduce tariffs, settle trade disputes, and enforce rules.
Prevented Asian financial crisis from undermining America's prosperity by promoting sound monetary policies, urging banking reforms and fighting corruption.
Saved Mexico from currency crisis by providing financial relief.

Whew! It's a long list of worthwhile accomplishments. There are more achievements that could have been included, but I think by now, if you've read the entire list, you get the idea.

Some will still argue that President Clinton was a horrible president because he got a blow job. Some will say that he was a horrible president because he lied about getting a blow job. To them, I say:

I would have blown him, too. Only I would have kept my mouth shut afterwards.

What is the big deal about a blow job? What is the big deal about the lie? It's funny to me because Clinton can lie about a cum stain on Monica's dress and the country is up in arms calling for an impeachment. Bush can lie about weapons of mass destruction, take thousands of men and women into a senseless and purposeless war, defend his actions even as thousands of soldiers are killed, and the country lauds him. Incredible.

PS - I still love ya, Jimmy. :)

The Geek Squad

2006-09-21T13:34:00.000-06:00

Have you heard of The Geek Squad? They just replaced the motherboard in our computer because it had stopped working for some reason. However, they couldn't tell us the reason, they said. Usually the resistors fry, they said, but not in our case. Everything else on our PC was fine however, they said.

We have two hard drives that use a RAID configuration to make our two hard drives appear to be one they said. The geeks at the squad, however, did not have a motherboard that was compatible with the apparently-outdated RAID configuration. We would have to go buy the part somewhere else, they said. We did.

The replacement part, for one reason or another, wouldn't work with our hard drives they said. Unless, of course, we wanted half a file on one of the drives while the other half of the file was on the other drive. Half a digital picture here, half there... half a term paper here, half there. Yep, that sounds ideal to me. They would have to order the part themselves, they said. They did.

They installed the new motherboard. You'll have to reinstall your operating system for the PC to work, they said. We didn't. It worked fine. Except... we had no video output. Bring everything back into us, they said. I did. I hauled our CPU, monitor, and all cables to Best Buy along with my infant and toddler sons. By myself. Never again, I said.

Remember when they said the rest of our PC worked fine? It didn't. Our monitor's AC adaptor wasn't working properly. We don't carry the part here, they said. You can call our Customer Support Center however and they can order it for you. I did. They didn't have it in stock.

I can transfer you to our Customer Care Center for additional assistance, she said. What is the difference between Customer Support and Customer Care? I wondered. Customer Care didn't carry the necessary part either, they said. I would have to buy the part somewhere else, they said. Perhaps the manufacturer of the monitor would carry it, they suggested. Perhaps.

Perhaps not. We no longer manufacture that monitor, they said. We no longer carry any parts for that monitor, they said. Hmmm... am I just out of a perfectly good monitor because you can't get me the shitty-ass part I need to make your monitor work? Yes, they said. Unless, of course, I want to try eBay or Google to see if I can find one online, they said.

I see. The Geek Squad would have to just send the monitor in to have it repaired, they said. Can't you simply call your service team to see if they have an AC adaptor, I asked? No, they said. We'll have to send it in. I see. How long will this process take? About 2-4 weeks, they said. I see. And what happens if your service team doesn't have the adaptor either? Well, they will send the monitor back to us and we'll make exchange arrangements for a new monitor, they said. I see. We can't just do an exchange now? No, they said. We have to attempt to service the problem first. I see.

After muddling through this ordeal at The Geek Squad's desk for 95 minutes, they said they were unable to make the necessary service arrangements. I see. And why is that? We can't get our computer system to work right today, they said. Aha. I see. So, what shall we do now? We'll just give you an exchange, they said.

Argh.

Word of the Day - H

2006-09-21T13:26:00.000-06:00

Our Word of the Day today is...

Hobbledehoy

(Yes, it's a real word.)

Word of the Day - G

2006-09-06T22:46:00.000-06:00

Today's word is...

Genuflect

Noodles, This Is For You

2006-09-06T22:10:00.000-06:00

Hubby and I spent an evening with Jimmy and his better half this week and had a great time as always. I've known Jimmy's wife since I was 8 years old -- 27 years -- longer than anyone else in my life. She is my best friend.

I miss her. I didn't realize how much I miss her until I saw her again the other night. Despite the fact that we live only 5 minutes from each other, we seldom find the time or opportunity to get together. Both of us have kids, work, are usually taking a class of some sort, and have our families that live nearby. Needless to say, spare time is a rare luxury for both of us.

It's been awhile since I've seen her. However, no matter how much time passes between our gatherings, we are able to pick up right where we last left off and as though we saw each other just yesterday. She is comfortable. Silence is comfortable with her. This is how I know she is my "soul mate" if you will -- we can sit in silence and not feel compelled to fill the space.

She has seen me in my darkest hour and has been with me in my brightest moments. She has laughed with me, cried with me, screamed with me, and dreamed with me. She understands my weaknesses and never exploits them. She knows my strengths and encourages me to follow my dreams. She knows secrets that no one else knows. I would trust her with my life and with the lives of my children.

I've always been honest with her, and she with me -- another indication of our true friendship. There are times, when I'm deep in the darkness of depression, that I avoid all others, including her. For that, I am sorry. In my heart, I know she is one of the few that could understand the abyss I find myself in at times and bring a touch of lightness to the dark. I love her for that. I love her for not pushing too hard and waiting until I'm ready to come around. I love her sense of patience, her faithfulness, her empathy, and her compassion.

She understands me. I truly believe that we are connected on some supernatural level because she will know what I am thinking without me having said a single word. We'll finish each other's sentences. When I am thinking of her, she will pick up the phone and call. When I need to hear from her the most, she reaches out. We've shared so much together and I cannot think of a single person that I would have rather spent my time with through the years.

So... Noodles, if you happen to come across this post one day, this is for you. Thank you for everything. I do love you so.

Catching Up

2006-09-06T21:52:00.000-06:00

My littlest guy, Jess, finally got his first tooth in last week. Another milestone come and gone.

I finished Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code and absolutely loved it. I also read Angels and Demons and loved that almost as much. I was captivated with both books, being a fan of conspiracy theories and intrigued by religious controversies. Still haven't started on my list of classics, but I figure I'll get there.

It's been really wonderful to read books again. For so long, all the reading I did was purely academic -- mitochondrial DNA, chemical equilibrium, proteins and enzymes -- definitely not the most entertaining topics in the world. It's been a very long time since I had the opportunity to read for pleasure and I've enjoyed it immensely. There is nothing like getting swept away to another time, another place, another life for a few hours.

Anyone tried Vongo? It's the online service that allows you to download movies to your computer. Thought I'd give the free trial a whirl but, so far, am not all that impressed.

I hate George W. Bush.

That is all for now.

Word of the Day - F

2006-08-26T22:54:00.000-06:00

I really liked this one...

boys and girls, your word of the day is:

flibbertigibbet

An Idiot

2006-08-26T22:33:00.000-06:00

I feel like an idiot this week.

We opened new bank accounts online at the Bank of America this week. Easy process to open the accounts. However, navigating through their website to find the info I needed regarding debit cards, ordering checks, and our routing and account numbers was incredibly frustrating. "This is not rocket science," I kept telling myself. Yet, it seemed to be just as difficult at times.

I've started reading the Da Vinci Code. Yes, I'm one of the few in the world who haven't yet read the book or seen the movie. Anyway, as most folks know, there seems to be a fair amount of French in the book, which I know nothing about and can accept as truly foreign to me. However, I find myself struggling with several English words in the book and that troubles me. I've always considered myself to be of average intelligence, but I don't know what the hell the word "prelature" means.

I colored my hair tonight in an effort to rid my scalp of an ever-increasing army of gray hairs. Again, the at-home coloring process is not rocket science. Yet, the instructions included with this kit were different than those I have used in the past. I must have read and re-read those damn instructions four times before I "got it."

God... idiot!

Inflammatory Breast Cancer

2006-08-23T15:48:00.000-06:00

Breast cancer is a scary disease that runs in my family, so I try to stay abreast (sorry, no pun intended) of the latest news and developments. A friend that I work with sent me this newsclip recently and I'm so thankful to have received the information. I had never heard of Inflammatory Breast Cancer before and, as you'll see in the clip, the vast majority of women don't know that it exists. So... please help spread the word. Tell all the women in your life that you care about.

Stunning Satellite Images

2006-08-23T11:35:00.000-06:00

I've always enjoyed looking at photographs taken from high above in the stars. The immensity of the Earth and the infinite nature of the Universe have consistently made me feel very small and insignificant. I am in awe of the wonders that surround us. These are some of my favorite photos of interesting man-made structures and natural phenomena that continue to captivate me. Hope you enjoy them.

This is a natural color, 60-centimeter (2-foot) high-resolution QuickBird satellite image featuring the southwestern coast of Sri Lanka. Imagery was collected on December 26, 2004 at 10:20 a.m. local time, slightly less than four hours after the 6:28 a.m. earthquake and shortly after the moment of tsunami impact.

This IKONOS satellite image was collected on July 16, 2004. The image shows this man-made island that lies off the coast of Dubai in the Persian Gulf. The island is being built from 80 million cubic meters of land dredged from the approach channel to the Emirates Jebel Ali Port. When complete, this resort will have approximately 1,200 single-family and 600 multi-family residences, an aquatic theme park, shopping centers, cinemas and more. Wow. What oil can buy these days. Incredible.

On a Space Station expedition, astronauts observed and captured this detailed image of the volcano's summit caldera. In the center of the crater sits a lava dome that is 876 feet above the crater floor and is about 3,500 feet in diameter. The dome began to form after the May 18, 1980 eruption of Mount Saint Helens. After the eruption, there was not any dome building eruptions for more than a decade. Afternoon lighting accents the flow features in the volcanic and debris flows and the steep valleys eroded into the loosely consolidated material near the summit. This picture was taken on October 25, 2002.

North and South Malosmadulu Atolls are in the Maldives, an island Republic in the northern Indian Ocean, southwest of India. The Maldives are made up of a chain of 1,192 small coral islands, which are grouped into clusters of atolls. It has a total area of 298 qquare kilometers and a population of about 330,000. The capital and largest city is Male, with a population of about 80,000. Arguably the lowest-lying country in the world, the average elevation is just 1 meter above sea level. The natural-color ASTER image of the Malosmadulu Atolls was acquired on December 22, 2002, and is centered near 5.3 degrees North latitude, 73.9 degrees West longitude.

This featured image is a 61-centimeter pan-sharpened image of the Great Pyramid in Giza, Egypt, collected by QuickBird on February 2, 2002. The Great Pyramid is estimated to have been built circa 2650 B.C., and was erected as a tomb for the Egyptian pharaoh Khufu of the Fourth Dynasty. Upon the completion of its construction, the Great Pyramid stood 145.75 meters (481 feet) high, and over the millennia has lost approximately 10 meters (30 feet) off the top. It stood as the tallest structure on Earth for more than 43 centuries.

This image of the northern portion of the Nile River was captured by the Multi-angle Imaging Spectroradiometer's (MISR's) nadir camera on January 30, 2001. Against the barren desert of northeastern Africa, the fertile valley of the Nile River runs northward through Egypt. The city of Cairo can be seen as a gray smudge right where the river widens into its broad fan-shaped delta. Other cities are dotted across the green landscape, giving it a speckled appearance. Where the Nile empties into the Mediterranean Sea (top) the waters are swirling with color, likely a mixture of sediment, organic matter, and possibly marine plant life. Farther west, the bright blue color of the water is likely less-organically rich sediment, perhaps sand.

Is it or isn't it? Satellite images of Mt. Ararat, Turkey have pointed to, what many consider to be, a possible sighting of Noah's Ark. Decide for yourself!

Northern Arizona and the Grand Canyon are captured in this pair of multi-angle Imaging Spectroradiometer (MISR) images from December 31, 2000. In addition to the Grand Canyon itself, which is visible in the western (lower) half of the images, other landmarks include Lake Powell, on the left, and Humphreys Peak and Sunset Crater National Monument on the right. Meteor Crater appears as a small dark depression with a brighter rim, and is visible along the upper right-hand edge.

The IKON OS satellite image of Ayers Rock was collected January 17, 2004. Ayers Rock is located in Kata Tjuta National Park, 280 miles southwest of Alice Springs, Australia. It is the world's largest monolith, an Aboriginal sacred site, and Australia's most famous natural landmark.

This image of the Earth's city lights was captured on October 19, 2000. I find it beautiful, yet depressing in a way when I see the obvious way in which we have impacted the planet.

This image shows Niagara River that connects Lake Erie to Lake Ontario by snaking around Goat Island in the lower left area. Every second, more than 2 million liters of water plunges over the Horseshoe Falls segment of Niagara Falls, creating one of the world's largest waterfalls. This photograph was taken August 2, 2004.

Hell Hath No Fury...

2006-08-23T10:53:00.000-06:00

I would guess that she is very, very angry. Indeed.

Word of the Day - E

2006-08-22T00:07:00.000-06:00

Our word for today is:

Ennui

Word of the Day - D

2006-08-22T00:06:00.000-06:00

Desultory

Okay, brainiacs, whatcha got for this one?

She's Gonna Blow!

2006-08-10T22:10:00.000-06:00

Had to post this photo for my hubby, an aspiring Geologist interested in earthquakes and volcanoes. Besides, it is pretty cool looking.

Word of the Day - C

2006-08-10T21:53:00.000-06:00

Girls and boys, the word of the day is...

Concupiscence

Please use it in a sentence. (Remember, no cheating -- you cannot look up the definition!)

Word of the Day - B

2006-08-09T20:09:00.001-06:00

Today's word is...

Brinjal

August 22: Doomsday?

2006-08-09T19:56:00.000-06:00

Bernard Lewis, professor emeritus at Princeton University and one of the most widely-read scholars on the Middle East, has published an editorial in the Wall Street Journal that warns of a quickly-approaching doomsday on August 22. Alarming and compelling stuff. Check out the hub-bub here.

American Bald Eagles

2006-08-08T21:53:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine sent these photos to me today and I felt inspired to share. They were taken near Comox, British Columbia in Canada and are absolutely beautiful... a sight very few of us, if any, will ever see. Enjoy!

Birth of a Hummingbird

2006-08-08T21:30:00.000-06:00

Recently, I received these photos of a hummingbird nest and eggs being tended by Mama Bird. The photos chronicle the development and birth of the hummingbird babies and is quite remarkable. For those who are nature lovers like me, please enjoy.

Mama bird tending to her nest.

Two tiny eggs, each only 1/2 inch long.

The first new arrival emerges.

"How about something to eat?!"

Development is moving right along!

The time to fly is nearing...

Almost time to go!

One of the babies has left the nest at the ripe old age of 21 days.

As a point of reference, a toothpick is
2 1/2" long and a penny is 3/4" in diameter.

Word of the Day - A

2006-08-08T18:57:00.000-06:00

To expand my own vocabulary, I thought it might be fun to highlight a word of the day. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to use each word in a sentence. The challenge is to do so without looking up the meaning of the word. Have fun with it... I'll share the meaning of word soon enough.

Today, in honor of the letter A, the word of the day is...

Autochthonous

Can't wait to see what you come up with.

Odds and Ends

2006-08-08T18:37:00.000-06:00

My daughter, Kayley, is about to lose her first tooth. It has been wiggling for a couple weeks and now barely hangs on by a thin piece of flesh. I'm going to try pulling it out later tonight, at her request, so she can tuck it carefully under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy. Another first, another milestone. She is growing up too fast. Sigh.

My son, Zach, who is 2 1/2 years old was helping me with laundry last week, a chore that he excitedly and eagerly assists with. He accidentally dropped a sock on the basement floor and proceeded to say, "Dammit," about a half dozen times. By the time I realized what he was saying, I was torn between scolding him and laughing at him. I explained that 'dammit' is a bad word and asked him not to say it again. He proceeded to tell me,"Daddy says it." Touche, little one, touche.

Our baby, Jesse, is close to crawling. He's had an explosion of development in the last couple of weeks and has learned to roll over and partake in a bit of push-up action. He, too, is growing so quickly and while I am thrilled to see each new accomplishment, I find that I'm also a bit sad. Since going back to work almost 2 months ago, I feel like I've missed out on so much with my kids, especially him. Melancholy will not prevent him from growing up, however; all I can do is cherish the time I have with him.

I love Star Trek: The Next Generation. My kids have grown fond of it as well and now watch it regularly with me, alternating between Thomas the Tank Engine, Drake and Josh, and Star Trek. At first, I was concerned about them watching the show, but when you think about it, there are some very good lessons in each episode:

Using diplomacy instead of violence to solve disputes
Interpersonal skills and tolerance - being able to work with a variety of different cultures
Communication skills
Respect for authority
The importance and prevalence of science in everyday life
The value of exploration, asking questions, and seeking answers
Facing the unknown, possibly fearing it, and facing the unknown anyway
The value of life, not only our own, but the lives of others as well

Perhaps we could all learn a thing or two from Picard and Riker.

Recently, a young woman that I work with was speaking about a male co-worker that is rather attractive. She called him a "cutie-patootey." Yick.

God Is In Control

2006-08-08T18:20:00.000-06:00

During a recent trip to visit my husband's birth mother, she and my husband got into a somewhat heated debate about global warming. My husband is what she called "one of those global warmers," as am I. Despite the overwhelming scientific evidence that global warming is, in fact, taking place, she continues to deny that anything at all is wrong. Although I wasn't present (unfortunately) for their interesting deliberations, it apparently went something like this.

"Glaciers and ice caps are melting at an alarming rate," he told her.

"How would you know? Have you been there? Have you seen them?" she asked.

"The Amazon rainforest is being cleared... are you implying that if it disappears entirely, there will be no effect on the Earth's climate?" he asked.

"No effect at all. Besides, how do you know it's being cleared? Have you been there? Have you seen it?" she replied.

"Some of the hottest years in recorded history have occurred within the last 20 years," he rebutted.

"The only recorded history I need to know is that which is in the Bible. And I'll tell you about hot. Hell is hot and those that don't believe that will get to experience it firsthand. God is in control and if you don't have faith in the fact that He is controlling everything, you're in trouble," she retorted.

Why is it so easy for some folks to cling to an unseen, omnipresent, omnipotent God but ignore the evidence that is right in front of their eyes? Had I been there, I think I would have asked her, "How do you know God exists? Have you seen Him? How do you know the Bible is true? Were you there when it was written?"

Guess I'm going to Hell, huh?

Who Would You Choose?

2006-07-25T21:49:00.000-06:00

Hypothetical situation...

You have to choose between the life of your significant other who would grow old with you and the life of your child who would die in the next five years.

Whose life would you choose to save? Why?

What would you tell the condemned?

(Don't ask.)

A Spoonful of Cool Whip

2006-07-25T21:15:00.000-06:00

On Sunday evening this week, I was sitting outside on our front porch enjoying the sounds of summer cicadas and crickets. The streetlights shone brightly, illuminating our section of the block and traffic was relatively light, so it was a bit quieter than usual. I noticed three teenage boys walking down the sidewalk, laughing and talking amongst themselves. As they approached our driveway, I heard a popping sound and, as I looked up, saw the boys high-tailing it up the street. Goddamn kids had smashed in the back window of our minivan. While looking at the shattered bits of glass that littered our driveway and wondering how we're going to come up with the $350 to fix this problem, I reflected on the shitty things I did as a kid and wondered... is this Karma?
My 6-year old daughter caught me eating spoonsful of Cool Whip out of the tub tonight, after I had chastised her for wanting to lick the lid. Figures.
The cost of groceries is killing us. For our family of 5, we spend pretty close to $200 each week on food, personal items, baby needs, etc. Sometimes, the grocery bill is a bit less than $200 and sometimes a bit more. For us, at least, it is getting more and more difficult to make our ends meet each month. Sigh. Are we the only folks struggling?
A milestone and moment of joy this week! Our littlest guy, Jesse, has started to roll over from back to front and back again. He's 6 months old now and is still a short, stocky little man but he's making great strides. His smiles make life worthwhile some days.
I've started taking medication for my diabetes again this week. Since giving birth to Jesse in January, I stopped taking insulin and never got started on my oral meds again. For me, management of diabetes has always been a struggle and I live in eternal denial that I have the disease. In the years since I was diagnosed diabetic, I've tried guilting myself into managing it by thinking of my children without a mother, my husband without a wife, leg amputations, blindness, kidney failure, feet ulcerations, and a host of other yicky alternatives. My doctors have ridden my ass to the point that I don't go see them for other health issues because I don't want to hear the lectures about managing my blood sugar. I've read about denial, acceptance, and grief and the stages associated with each but have been unable to move beyond the initial angry-avoidance-denial phase. I'm diabetic and I'm pissed off about it. I'm pissed off that I won the gene lottery and inherited the disease from both sides of my family. I'm pissed off that I now have 8-9 prescriptions to fill each month. Finally, I'm pissed off that I'm having to deal with all of this at 35. Pisser... perhaps if I keep looking at this dude's ulcer.

Your Last Days

2006-07-25T15:12:00.000-06:00

If you were told that you only have one week to live:

How would you spend your last days?
Would you tell others you were going to die?
What would you say to those that you love?
Would you be filled with fear, remorse, joy, or some other emotion?
Where would you choose to spend your final minutes?
Who would you choose to spend your final minutes with, if anyone?

Sorry to be morbid for those that might be offended. I'm just curious how others in the world would deal with such a situation.

Here's to long life.

Mammatus Clouds

2006-07-10T20:06:00.000-06:00

I thought these photos were beautiful and intriguing. They were taken by a gentleman in the great state of Nebraska, Jorn Olsen, who lives in Hastings.

Makes Your Skin Crawl

2006-07-09T19:46:00.000-06:00

Ever have that sensation that your skin is crawling? For those with Morgellon's Disease, that sensation is a reality. In addition to that feeling that you've got creepy-crawlies under your dermis, you might also experience skin lesions with white, black, blue, and red fibers protruding from the wound and adjacent healthy skin. The fibers, thus far, have no resemblence to naturally-occuring fibers from, for example, clothing.

Although cases have been reported in all 50 states, most cases exist in California, Texas, and Florida. The disease name was derived from a condition involving "black hairs" emerging from the skin of children which was documented in France in the 1600's. While most of the medical community dismisses these patients with incorrect diagnoses of scabies or delusional parasitosis, the CDC has formed a group to study this mystery disease further. While some feel it may be related to Lyme Disease, a definitive cause has yet to be identified. Likewise, there is currently no cure.

Calling All Science Nerds

2006-06-30T23:28:00.000-06:00

A species of monkey discovered in Tanzania over a year ago has turned out to be more exciting than originally thought. Initially, the monkey was thought to be related to mangabeys. However, it was later found to be more closely related to baboons. Now, after further genetic testing, scientists have found that the monkey, properly called Rungwecebus kipunji, is so unique that it deserves an entirely new genus and species classification. Rungwecebus kipunji... looks like a word verification, doesn't it?!

If you're a science nerd like me, you know this discovery is a big deal.

If you're not quite so nerdy... well, you could probably give a rat's ass.

I think it's pretty damn cool.

Say You're Sorry

2006-06-30T23:19:00.000-06:00

I found this commentary while perusing the Internet tonight. Written by Peter H. Gleick of the Pacific Institute, I thought the editorial summed up many of my feelings nicely.

"My kids deserve an apology from the global warming “skeptics.” For longer than my kids have been alive, these skeptics have intentionally muddied the climate change debate, confusing the public, misleading policymakers, and successfully delaying any meaningful action to develop solutions. Thanks to their actions we are now at the point where my children – not to mention the rest of the world – are committed to a radically changed planet.

Their world is going to be hotter than our world, unbearably so in some places. The weather is going to be more violent and less predictable. Precipitation patterns will be different, leading to increased flooding in some areas and droughts in others. Snowpack in the mountains is going to shrink and glaciers are going to disappear. It will be harder to grow enough food or provide enough fresh water for all. Entire ecosystems will be threatened; with humans, animals, and plants struggling to adjust. Indeed, global climate change is already here and it looks worse than we anticipated.

Climate scientists have sounded the alarm for decades. Mostly a restrained and careful lot – they overemphasize uncertainties and are reluctant or inexperienced when it comes to talking to policymakers. But some have risked careers to stir politicians out of their complacency. Yet for every vocal climate scientist there has been a well-orchestrated response from a small, well-funded band of self-described skeptics. This response hasn’t played out in the scientific literature, a forum of research and data and debate, but on Shout Television and in other forums that substitute quips, showmanship, hyperbole, and conjecture for substantial discussion.

Skeptics have engaged in a deliberate effort to cast doubt on climate models, on actual data from measurements, and even on the integrity of climate scientists themselves. Their efforts have had an effect: a March ABC News/Time/Stanford poll reported that 64% of the American public believes that scientists disagree with one another about global warming. Even more telling, while 46% of Democrats and 45% of independents are certain that climate change is happening, only 26% of Republicans feel that way. It is the worst example of the politicization of science.

My kids deserve an apology from policymakers as well. In the past few years we’ve seen our government let political hacks edit scientific findings, censor government scientists, and redirect research funds away from efforts to understand the impacts of climate change.

No amount of Wite-Out can hide the evidence that continues to pour in demonstrating that humans are dramatically changing the climate. Actual observations are showing that the problem may actually be much worse than we thought it would be. In our effort not to over-exaggerate the problem, we may have greatly understated it. Changes in the Arctic and Antarctica are accelerating. Sea levels appear to be rising faster than anticipated. There isn’t a single oceanographer or coastal zone hydrologist who thinks that a sea-level rise of even a few feet is a good thing, but almost all of them agree that a more extreme rise of 10 to 20 feet – now apparently a serious possibility – would be a global catastrophe. Instead of an aberration, New Orleans may be tragic foreshadowing for other coastal cities and towns.

If there is any good news, it is that the tide of opinion is slowly changing. Despite skeptics’ best efforts a large majority of the American public – 88% – now thinks that global warming threatens future generations. It is not too late for our leaders to follow this sentiment. I’d accept real action in lieu of an apology from our politicians. As for the skeptics, my kids’ apology is overdue."

Dave Matthews Band Rocks!

2006-06-30T22:33:00.000-06:00

As most of you know, I am very interested in environmental issues. With all the doom and gloom of late, I thought this story about The Dave Matthews Band and the steps they are taking to reduce global warming was great.

I had never heard of carbon offsets, NativeEnergy, or Clean Air-Cool Planet (all mentioned in the story) until tonight. From the story, "NativeEnergy is the choice of leading environmentally and socially responsible organizations, including Al Gore's AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH (www.ClimateCrisis.net), Ben & Jerry's, Clif Bar, Stonyfield Farm, Interface, Aveda, Green Mountain Coffee Roasters, Dave Matthews Band, Jack Johnson, Co-op America, NRDC, the Clinton Global Initiative, Bonnaroo, and thousands of individuals."

The entire process of carbon offsetting intrigues me, as it is seems to be something that I can do to make a positive impact on the world's warming climate. So often, I feel hopeless and helpless and am just filled with anger and despair over our downward spiral. I plan to devote some more time and research to this issue and will likely add additional information in future posts.

Go green. :)

Lots and Lots of Zeros

2006-06-29T21:32:00.000-06:00

This has to be one of the greatest stories covered in the news this week. Warren Buffett, the world's second richest man, announced his plans to donate 85% of his fortune, or about $30.7 billion to The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. $37,000,000,000.00. Wow. Look at all those zeros.

Buffett is so rich that he would never have to work another day in his life, nor would his children, grandchildren, and likely great-grandchildren. Instead of passing all the spoils on to his progeny who have grown up with silver spoons in their mouths, he decided to help the poorest people of the world by supporting the work of the foundation. Don't despair... his children are also receiving a portion of his wealth when he dies, and they'll have more than enough money to live out their days, but Buffett was quoted as saying, "Certainly neither Susie (his wife) nor I ever thought we should pass huge amounts of money along to our children. Our kids are great. But I would argue that when your kids have all the advantages anyway, in terms of how they grow up and the opportunities they have for education, including what they learn at home - I would say it's neither right nor rational to be flooding them with money. In effect, they've had a gigantic headstart in a society that aspires to be a meritocracy. Dynastic mega-wealth would further tilt the playing field that we ought to be trying instead to level."

I absolutely love this story because it shows the goodness of man (or at least one man). Buffett could do anything he wanted with his fortune, but he has elected to give the vast majority away through a foundation that helps those less fortunate than most of us. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation focuses on education and health-related issues and their grants have ranged from over $1 billion to the United Negro College Fund to $110 million for Save the Children to $258 million for the Malaria Vaccine Initiative. Additionally, and especially now with Buffett's donation, the Foundation shows no signs of slowing down. Gates recently said that there is no reason why we can't cure the top 20 diseases of the world. I can only imagine how truly wonderful that would be.

It's so incredibly nice to hear some good news once in awhile, don't you agree?

An Inconvenient Truth

2006-06-29T11:34:00.000-06:00

Al Gore appeared on "The Daily Show" this week, promoting his book and new movie called An Inconvenient Truth. Whether you are an Al Gore fan or not, please go see this documentary and educate yourself about what we are doing to our planet. I've included the trailer for you below.

I Love Tom Cruise

2006-06-28T12:03:00.000-06:00

I don't care what anyone says about him... I love the man. I love his movies, adore his smile, find his passion for his new love exhilerating, quirky, and fun, and think he gets waaaaay too much flak from the rest of the world. Go, Tom, go.

Remiss...

2006-06-27T19:24:00.000-06:00

I have been remiss about contributing during the last week or so. I started a new job last Monday, 6-19-06, and have been simply exhausted in the evening when I get home. It's not that the work is demanding, but I've been out of commission for several months and during that time, I got to sleep in a bit later, stay up a bit later, and take long afternoon naps with my kids. I was spoiled. Now that I'm back in the real world again, I must admit that it is kicking my butt.

So, I get home around 5:30, feed the baby, change the baby, change the toddler, listen to stories about everyone's day, mediate disputes between our toddler and 6-year old, and smoke a cigarette to center myself. Next, it's time to whip up something for dinner, eat, try to get the kids to eat, clear the table and do the dishes, and smoke another cigarette. After a short bit of playtime, it's late enough to get the older kids in their pajamas and ready for bed, wrangle them upstairs and tuck them in with a story thrown in (if we have time). Then, it's back downstairs to change the baby, feed the baby, rock the baby, love the baby, and put the baby in his crib. One or two more cigarettes, perhaps a half hour of CNN Headline News or an episode of Star Trek or Deadwood, and then I'm off to bed. Oh yeah, if I have a couple spare minutes, I call my husband at work to check in with him and share 10 minutes of conversation. Long gone are the days of afternoon naps.

Found an interesting story about advances in detecting genetic defects in IVF embryos. I'm continually amazed at the advances we are making. I know there are those in the world that are opposed to this kind of thing and they probably think our society is headed to Hell in a handbasket, but not I. Think about the incredible advancements in technology, science, engineering, medicine, etc. that have happened during just the last 100 or so years. I am awestruck that my Grandparents were able to witness these events. Now, here we are, witnessing incredible advances in our lifetime. Anywho, it's amazing to me.

With David Letterman style, here are the latest reasons that people are fat, according to research biostatisticians:

Inadequate sleep
Endocrine disruptors that alter fats in the body
Nice temperatures (i.e., air conditioning)
Fewer smokers (appetite suppression)
Increased use of medicines that cause weight gain
Population shifts (larger middle-aged and Hispanic populations who have higher obesity rates)
Older birthmoms
Genetic influences during pregnancy (not exactly sure what this one means)
Darwinian natural selection (fat people outlive skinny folks)
Assortative mating (fat folks are mating and producing fat kids, thus skewing the overall population)

Notice that you will not find over-eating and under-moving anywhere on this list. While those two things have certainly contributed to my "fatness," I'll also lay claim to inadequate sleep, endocrine disruptors, nice temperatures, medications, older birthmoms, Darwinian NS, and Assortative mating (sorry, honey). I'm doomed.

Can anyone thoroughly and clearly, but succinctly, explain why the Israelis and Palestinians have been fighting for what seems like my entire life?

I s space-time actually a superfluid? Uh... ummm... er, sure, sure it is. Interesting article about the nature of the universe, but not entirely sure I follow it all. Guess I need bigger bread crumbs on the trail.

See ya...