I received this groundbreaking, scientific announcement via email this morning. As a scientist, the importance and significance of the discovery of a new element is incredible and I just had to share the good news!
The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the
existence of a new chemical element. A major research
institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element has been named *Governmentium*.
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons,
88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However,
it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with
which it comes into contact. A minute amount of
Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take
less than a second to take over four days to complete.
Governmentium does not decay, but instead undergoes a
reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons
and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become
neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists
to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons
reach a critical concentration! . This hypothetical quantity
is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
Administratium- an element which radiates just as much
energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but
twice as many morons.
existence of a new chemical element. A major research
institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element has been named *Governmentium*.
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons,
88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However,
it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with
which it comes into contact. A minute amount of
Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take
less than a second to take over four days to complete.
Governmentium does not decay, but instead undergoes a
reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons
and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become
neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists
to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons
reach a critical concentration! . This hypothetical quantity
is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
Administratium- an element which radiates just as much
energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but
twice as many morons.
5 comments:
Oh gods...I'm still laughing.
&
Fletcher, you're a man after my own heart. :)
Verification: ctevpu, see TV? P-U!
You know, governmentuim will spend $900 on a lavoo.
DD;
I am after your heart? Will this get me into any sort of trouble? If not, what are my chances and what do I win if I get it?
Jimmy;
Nicely played. I like the call-back to lavoo.
&
Fletcher, my heart would absolutely bring you nothing but trouble, I'm afraid.
Jimmy, you are a lavoo. Love ya. ;)
Post a Comment