my vent: our old crotchety neighbor

He has called us at 10:02pm if our dogs were still outside in the yard barking. "It's after 10:00! Can't you bring those dogs in?!" Sure, Ed, sure.

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Once, I had to make a late night trip to the ER with one of our kids. I left the dogs outside in case they had to pee while I was gone... no one likes a big puddle of piss in the middle of their living room. Anywho... it was around 12:30am when we finally returned home. Of course, as I'm getting out of the truck and carrying our little guy inside, the dogs are yapping. Once I get inside, I let the dogs in as soon as I can. As I'm bringing the dogs inside, the phone rings... guess who?

"I can't get any sleep with those dogs barking! You've got to take them in at 10!" he insists.

"Ed, I'm sorry the dogs woke you up. I just got home and brought them in as soon as I could," I replied. Needless to say, I was really biting my tongue and trying to be pleasant and neighborly, but it was difficult.

"Well, why didn't you bring them in earlier? Why do they have to stay outside so late?" he asked.

"They don't typically stay out so late, Ed. But, I had to take our son to the Emergency Room tonight and I wasn't sure how long I would be gone. I didn't want them to piss on the floor, so I left them outside. Again, I'm sorry if they woke you up. I'm sure you understand that the dogs were not my first concern tonight," I responded. (Biting my tongue really hard at this point and feeling the stress of the night's events building inside me.)

"I just don't understand why I have to keep calling you about this," he barked. (No pun intended.)

"You don't have to keep calling, Ed, and honestly I wish you wouldn't. I made a trip to the ER tonight which is why the dogs were out so late. I thought Zach was really sick and I'm sorry I didn't take the time to consider your needs over my son's," I barked back.

"Well, is Zach okay?" he asked.

"Yes, thank goodness. It's nothing serious," I said.

"Good. Just keep the dogs inside at night, will ya?" he asked before hanging up. Grrrrr.

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Occasionally, hubby and I get to venture out into the world by ourselves. Without the little anklebiters along, we can stay out later than we normally would. Of course, as mentioned above, no one wants to step in a big puddle of pee, so we usually leave the dogs outside while we're gone. One particular night, we got home about 11:30pm and as our feet hit the steps on our front porch, Ed opens his bedroom window and hollars out, "You guys have to keep those dogs quiet! They start barking and then our dogs start barking and I can't get any sleep!"

Will do, Ed. Sorry, Ed. (Kiss my ass, Ed, is what I'm really thinking.)

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We foster bassets and beagles that have been rescued. Our first foster dog was a rambunctious basset hound named Humphrey. Humphrey was a 10 month old pup who liked to play and romp and bark. Our dog, Ripley, is an old lady by comparison and most certainly does not like to play and romp and bark. Her lack of interest in Humphrey's antics only made him try to get her attention that much more. So... Humphrey is carrying on one evening when Ed comes out of his house wearing his pajamas.

"Stacey! Stacey! Take those dogs inside, will ya?" he yells across the fence.

"Yeah, I can take them inside when I go in," I replied. I glance at the time and note that it is only 9:30pm.

"Well, it's after 10 and that dog just keeps barking. I'm tired of hearing it," he says.

"Ed, it's not after 10 yet... it's only 9:30," I said.

"Look, I don't feel good and I'm trying to get some rest, but I can't with those dogs barking. Can't you just take them inside please?" he asks.

"Fine, I'll take them inside, Ed. This is getting ridiculous!" I snap as I go in the house with the dogs.

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FINAL STRAW! This afternoon, my two oldest kids were playing in the backyard. They were screaming and laughing and carrying on -- just what kids are supposed to do, right? Apparently not. My children were told not to scream anymore because the noise really bothered Ed.

Shut your fucking window then, if you don't like it. It's 3pm in the afternoon and if my kids want to play together in their own backyard and if they want to scream their bloody little heads off, they damn sure are going to do just that.

I've simply had enough of his bitching and moaning and complaining about the dogs (of which some complaints I truly can understand). Now he seems to be moving on to my children. I'll tell you what, jackoff, leave my kids the hell alone. If you have an issue with my kids, you come talk to me... you most certainly are not their father and you are most certainly not welcome to tell them to be quiet and quit screaming.

THEY ARE CHILDREN, FOR GOD'S SAKE! THEY ARE GOING TO SCREAM! AND IF YOU THINK THEIR SCREAMING IS BOTHERSOME, JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEIR MOTHER!

Okay, so I probably wouldn't say those words exactly, but you get the jist. I've had it with Ed, I've just had it with him. Again, I willfully acknowledge that we have inadvertently left the dogs out after 10pm and, yep, you guessed it -- they barked. I understand this is an annoyance and I understand the concept of quiet hours. I don't have a problem with that and will accept responsibility for being an inconsiderate neighbor and pet owner at times.

But, give me a break already. There are worse things in the world than a barking dog or screaming, playing child. Aren't there? Am I being unreasonable? Do I not care enough? Sheesh... he's tired of the noise coming from our yard and I'm tired of the noise coming from his mouth.

So, Ed... shut yer hole.

Good Amidst Evil

Usually, I feel very distanced from the violence in the rest of the world. For me, that is a good thing I suppose because I don't think I could live another day if I felt a raw connection to the suffering and senselessness that surround us.

Sometimes, however a particular story breaks through the wall I've built around myself, touches my soul, and affects me in a profound, lasting way. This is one of those stories.

This video clip moved me, angered me, and broke my heart and I couldn't keep from sobbing as I watched. This could be one of my little boys... in fact, he reminds me of Zachary in some ways. I can't remember feeling this much heartache over a story in a very long time.

When I read this follow-up piece, I cried again... only this time, the tears were joyful and my heart was filled with hope. There is still good in the world. Even in our darkest hours, the light of love and compassion and kindness shine through.

I Think I Could Smash Her Face In

I'm not a violent person by nature, but tonight I am so disgusted and angry... no, not angry... rageful is a better word, that I could smash her fucking face in. Who, you ask? A fucking crazy lady that lives two houses North of us.

Apparently, about a month ago as my 7-year old daughter rode her bike up and down the sidewalk, the red-haired crazy lady was on her porch watching Kayley ride by. She walked from her porch to the driveway next to her car and Kayley stopped, thinking that perhaps she was going to talk to her. (Note, the crazy lady had helped Kayley once previously when she took a spill on her bike, so Kayley thought she was a pretty nice person.) Anyway...

The crazy lady proceeded to lift her nightgown/housecoat/mumu, whatever the fuck she was wearing, and exposed her naked self to my daughter. She apparently was rambling on and on about things Kayley couldn't remember and finally said something to the effect of, "Go ahead and call the police. Now you better get home!" Kayley, scared to death, rode her bike straight home and came inside.

Kayley was terrified to tell us what happened because she thought we would be angry with her for some reason. Instead, thankfully, she confided in her Aunt Renee tonight who, in turn, told me. Kayley and I then talked for a long time and I was finally able to convince her that it was okay to tell me what happened. She was trembling, scared to death, knees pulled up to her chest, hands covering her face... it just broke my heart.

I called the police and filed a report for lewd conduct. Unfortunately, for one reason or another, there is very little they can do at this point. They indicated they would increase patrols in the area and advised to avoid contact with the crazy lady - DUH - and to call them if there were additional problems so they could intervene. I truly understand that their hands are tied, but it still pisses me off.

The crazy lady is the "black sheep" of our block: she's had a registered sex offender living in the house before (but he is no longer there), her son is a juvenile delinquent who has vandalized houses and cars along our street, she regularly screams at her dog which she keeps tied up in the backyard, screams at her son, calls him an idiot and a fucking moron (among other things)... she truly is mentally unstable and it would be a miracle to ever have a normal conversation with her.

Hubby said that this only reinforces the fact that she is sick and needs some help. While I'm a definite proponent of getting help with mental illnesses and assisting those less fortunate, getting her help is the last thing on my mind tonight. Unless, of course, helping her means crushing her face with a cinder block.

You can bet that I am going to watch her like a hawk from now on and the minute I see something out of the ordinary, I'm calling the cops. For Christ's sake, we live across the street from an Elementary School and have kids all up and down our street... if she's done this to my child, I'm sure there are or will be others. I will be watching, you crazy red-haired bitch. Fucking fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Impact Your World

Mahatma Gandhi once said, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." I love that quote so much that it has become my "personal mission statement." When I think of those words, I am moved to take action instead of wallowing in bitterness, anger, fear, or disappointment about the shitty state of things in life. I know that I, alone, cannot save the world. But, if enough people take action to make the world a better place, we can accomplish something tremendous.

Check out this site for some inspiration and ways that you can step up and make a difference.

Congressional Pork

From Anderson Cooper's ac360blog, written by Drew Griffin, a CNN correspondent:

We've been reporting on all the debate over earmark requests. At issue is when and how members of Congress would tell the American people what they've requested.

Many of their projects are worthwhile, at least in the districts where they are needed: road projects, funding for a library, etc...

But then again, a lot of those earmarks are really just good old-fashioned congressional pork. We've told you about a few: bridges to nowhere, and renovations at a fancy Florida hotel, even a $500,000 facelift for a ski lift in Alaska.

Before Democrats came to power in the recent election, they vowed to fix the broken earmark process. They promised complete transparency. No secret spending, no backroom deals, and presumably no more bridges to nowhere.

Wisconsin Democrat David Obey, head of the House Appropriations Committee, even said on the house floor that he is "trying and so is our leadership to reduce earmarks by at least 50 percent."

Watchdog groups have told me the best way to reduce earmark requests (requests for your tax money) is to expose them early and often. The theory is that a member of Congress would think twice about what he or she is requesting, if the request itself would be made public.

Enter our intrepid interns. Their task: Call every member of congress and ask them to hand over their earmark requests.

After three days of actually calling each and every House office, 34 members of congress -- just 34 -- sent us their earmark requests.

But since then, a wave of pressure has apparently changed some minds. Our report caught the attention of political bloggers demanding Congress release its requests, The Chicago Tribune ran an editorial asking why members of the Illinois delegation were being so secretive, and today, Barack Obama raised the stakes in the presidential race by being the first in the race to release his requests.

Our results as of this writing:

• 45 have turned over their requests.
• 68 flat out refused.
• 6 told us they did not request any earmarks.
• But the majority, 316, never responded.

Want to see how your Representative responded? You can check them out in our web listing. And do me a favor. If your congressperson hasn't gotten back to us, you might want to send them a note asking why. After all, it's their plan for your money. Shouldn't you know what they want to do with it?

I have to agree that some of the earmarked funds are for worthwhile causes, but the vast majority of projects are nothing but wasteful spending crap. Sigh.

Tids and Bits

Generous supporters of Big Brothers Big Sisters were able to raise over $150,000 this year during our most important fundraiser of the year, Bowl for Kids' Sake. I am so pleased to have been a part of it and am proud of our team for caring enough to seek out donations and bowling with me on Sunday. Dave, Brett, Renee, Cami, and Tracey -- you have my admiration and appreciation. You're good people... thank you!

The tomb of King Herod has been found by a Hebrew University Professor. Herod's tomb was found at a site called Herodium in the Judean Desert.

In looking at the website for our local Humane Society, I was amazed at the number of black or black/white dogs that are available for adoption. The proportion of black/white dogs to the entire number of dogs waiting to be adopted is crazy. It's been that way for weeks. Tonight, there were 46 dogs listed; of those, 24 dogs are black or black/white -- 52%! So many black labs are waiting for homes which surprises me because it's always been such a popular breed. Just some interesting (or not) observations.

Attention fellow diabetics! A Hong Kong company has invented a new method to test blood glucose levels without having to prick your finger. Apparently, the invention uses near-infrared rays that penetrate your skin and targets a blood vessel. The rays then measure the amount of glucose in the bloodstream and return a reading in about 10 seconds. The new unit is still undergoing testing, with very low blood sugars, currently but is expected to be commercially available in about a year. Hmm. I love it.

We're going to become Fosters for the Basset and Beagle Rescue of the Heartland organization. Someday, I would love to form my own rescue non-profit for the sake of homeless and unwanted hounds -- Beagles, Bassets, Foxhounds, Coonhounds -- but for now, Fostering will have to do.

I guess that's it for now. 'Night all!

Bowl for Kids' Sake

I recently began working with Big Brothers Big Sisters as a Volunteer Coordinator to recruit new volunteers to serve as Big Brothers, Big Sisters, or Big Couples and enroll at-risk children as Little Brothers or Little Sisters. The work that BBBS does is amazing and the impact our BIGS have on our LITTLES is magical. Bowl for Kids' Sake is our biggest, most important fundraiser of the year and we count on YOU to make a BIG difference in the lives of LITTLE people who need our help.

I am trying to raise money for Big Brothers Big Sisters to support our work with young people by recruiting a bowling team who can, in turn, raise money for BBBS. Our team's goals include recruiting a total of six bowlers and raising $1000.00 or more for BBBS. Thus far, we're up to four bowlers and are hoping that Jimmy and his better half will be able to join us and round out our team. (C'mon, Jimmy... free beer! How can you say no to that?) Likewise, we've raised $130.00 of our team goal of $1000.00... we're well on our way, but we need your help to succeed.

Please consider helping our team reach its goal and make a donation to the Big Brothers Big Sisters Bowl for Kids' Sake fundraiser. Credit card donations can be accepted online or we can also accept donations made by cash or check. No donation is too small... $5, $10, $25 or more ... we will accept any amount you can afford to give. Many of us spend more than $25/month on lattes from Starbucks, books from Borders, or CDs from Best Buy. Now, think of the positive impact that same amount of money could have on the life of a child who needs a mentor. Your support can help Big Brothers Big Sisters bring the magic of mentoring into their young lives.

If you can, please give.

To view the 2007 BFKS video, please click here.

To support our bowling team and BBBS Bowl for Kids' Sake, please click here.

At the Gates of Hope: My Life's Journey

For those that are interested in how my decision to pursue social work has evolved, I thought I would share a portion of the personal statement included in my grad school application packet. It's rather lengthy and may likely bore some of you to tears; others will recognize the history of my life, as they were there to witness it firsthand. At any rate, this post is simply a small glimpse into my psyche and a proclamation to the world of my calling.

“These are the traits of an addict that you have identified,” she said. “Take a moment to reflect and decide if these traits match any qualities that you might see in yourself or your own life.” As I sat in quiet solitude, contemplating life, actions I had taken, choices I had made, and the angry, oppressive baggage I carried, I realized that each of the bullet points our group had outlined on the whiteboard described me and my life all too well. Despite the feelings of rage, denial, defiance, disappointment, and sadness, for the first time in my young life, I finally admitted to myself that I was, indeed, an addict and needed help to turn my life around.

At 15, after an arrest for shoplifting and a psychological evaluation, I began my journey through our juvenile court system, meeting probation officers, attorneys, judges, counselors, psychiatrists, and social workers along the way. On my passage through this foreign world, I found the language peculiar and the expectations of me outlandish. Addictive personality, depression, co-dependent, enabler, oppositional, addict, alcoholic, eating disorder, inpatient treatment, outpatient therapy, counseling, community service, accountability, ownership, consequences, self-determination, and one day at a time… I wondered, “What normal person really buys into this gibberish? Do they seriously expect me to take responsibility for my own life?” Indeed, they did. Eventually, in time, I did too.

After a tour through two outpatient counseling programs along with a side trip to an inpatient treatment facility, countless AA meetings, and years of intensive individual, group, and family therapy, I finally managed to successfully navigate the waters of Sarpy County’s Juvenile Diversion program. I had learned to take responsibility for myself, accept the consequences that resulted from my choices, and understand that a better, healthier life full of hope and love was possible after all. Although it was I who saw the light at the end of the tunnel and struggled daily to reach it, those beautiful souls that inhabited that unfamiliar land of long ago were there to lift my head, hold my hand, and share the journey with me. Had not so many people seen a glimmer of promise in that angst-filled teenager, had not so many genuinely cared and offered hope, had not so many given me a voice when I could not find my own, and had I not received one last chance to save myself, I truly believe I wouldn’t be here today.

Although it may sound cliché, social work is my calling; this realization has evolved over time and, despite my best efforts to pursue other endeavors, I find myself always returning home with an insatiable yearning to give back to others and eager to make a positive difference in the world. It is my belief that everything that has happened in my life, good or bad, has occurred for a reason – one that typically exceeds my appreciation – and has shaped the person I have become. Likewise, the people I have encountered throughout my personal journey have graced my life for a purpose that is usually greater than my understanding; each has left a distinct impression, gently taught a lesson, or enriched my human experience. Gratefully, I have been connected with the [therapy center] for over two decades; from a defiant, depressed teenager to a capable, confident adult, I have worked with [my therapist] and the [therapy center] for most of my formative years. Throughout my struggles with substance abuse, grief, familial dysfunction, parenting issues, and depression, I have returned to the [therapy center] time and again for over 20 years. I consider [my therapist] a trusted advisor and mentor from whom I have learned much and who continues to serve as an inspiration to me, even today. She has humbly walked with me as I have grown emotionally and spiritually, and matured wisely and lovingly, always seeking the quiet, nurturing, non-judgmental place within my heart that allows me to enjoy life with hope, patience and reverence. My long-term connection to the [therapy center] and the positive changes I’ve seen because of the work done there have been life-altering, key motivators for my decision to make social work my life’s work.

Is my own journey complete? No, there is still much to do, experience, and learn. However, now is the time for me to give back, to walk with others on their journey through life; now is the time to gratefully and humbly share my experiences; now is the time to answer the calling that has been with me all these years. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “You must be the change you wish to see in this world.” I am finally ready to be the change.

While I know I cannot save the world, I hope to make a positive impact on it through my work and the lives I touch. We are surrounded by tragedy, poverty, disease, inequality, abuse, hunger, injustice, homelessness, despair, and apathy; it’s easy to become discouraged and overwhelmed by the troubles of the world. I hope to be an advocate for the downtrodden and disadvantaged who feel forgotten and uncared for; I aspire to help them find their voices again and reclaim the hopefulness we all need to survive and flourish. Whether it is waiting with an isolated elder for the end of his life’s journey, providing work skills training to a single Native American mother struggling to feed her family, or advocating for the welfare of a child, the work will matter, it will have meaning and importance.

Throughout my life, I’ve been privileged to work with people from various socioeconomic, cultural, and developmental backgrounds. Whether it be tutoring at-risk children at The Urban League of Nebraska, encouraging special-needs athletes at the Nebraska Special Olympic games, celebrating a sobriety milestone with a friend, grieving with members of my church as a BeFriender lay minister, renovating the hurricane-ravaged home of a disadvantaged Hispanic family, or helping youth group members work through their personal struggles with sexual orientation or drug abuse, my life has been enriched by each experience. I strive to learn something from each person and situation I encounter; I firmly believe that I have received far more than I have ever given to others and am grateful for the gift of sharing another’s journey, even if for a short time. My entire life has prepared me for social work and the precious opportunities and experiences that lie ahead.

I was moved by a passage written by Victoria Safford, author of “The Small Work in the Great Work,” as she recounted the following quote from a psychiatrist friend: “You know I cannot save them. I am not here to save anybody or to save the world. All I can do – what I am called to do – is to plant myself at the gates of Hope. Sometimes they come in; sometimes they walk by. But I stand there every day and I call out till my lungs are sore with calling, and beckon and urge them in toward beautiful life and love.” This passage exemplifies what I hope to achieve in my life’s work, in my contribution to social work and the world. Now is the time for me to answer the call and take my place at the gates of Hope.

Thanks for reading. :)

Alone

I thought this story was incredibly sad.

To have been dead for over a year and have no one wonder where you are, how you're feeling, if you're okay, if you need anything... nothing. He vanished from existence and no one cared, no one noticed that he was no longer there.

How lonely this man likely was.

Obama Mama

Take a look at this video and get to know our next President. :-)

I am so encouraged by his hope and optimism and commitment to create a better world, unified communities, and a united America and haven't been this interested in or excited about a political campaign in quite some time.

"You must be the change you wish to see in this world."

~ Mahatma Ghandi

Need help with your grocery bill?

If you're like us, your grocery bill is likely one of your greatest expenses each month. There are times that we really struggle to put decent food on the table and feed our kids. Despite our efforts to use coupons, buy plain label items, and take advantage of sales, our grocery bill continues to eat up a large portion of our monthly budget.

Through our homeschooling connections, we were introduced to a wonderful program called Angel Food Ministries. This organization provides restaurant-quality food at a fraction of the price you would normally pay. For example, check this out...

• 2 lb. lasagna dinner
• Ten 4 oz. beef and bean burritos
• 2 lb. bag of chicken breast tenders
• 12 oz. Philly Steak portions
• 24 oz. bag breaded chicken breast filets
• 1 lb. ground turkey
• 1 lb. hot dogs
• 16 oz. can pinto beans
• 1 lb. white rice
• 1 box corn muffin mix
• 24 oz. bag potato wedges
• 16 oz. bag frozen carrots
• 16 oz. bag frozen corn
• 3 lbs. apples
• 12 oz. omelet starter
• 1 dozen eggs
• A dessert item

This list is an example of their basic food package and costs only $25. Yep, $25. Plus, once you purchase a basic package, they usually offer 2-3 specials each month as well for only $18 more. The specials are typically comprised of meat -- chicken breasts, pork chops, steaks, etc. -- and also seem to be really good values.

There are a couple of catches: you have to order your food packages in advance, there is only one food distribution day each month, and you have to go pick up the food you ordered at a local host site. But, for us, the savings far outweighs these inconveniences.

I was very impressed by the work these folks are doing... their story is pretty amazing and they are filling a much-needed niche in our society. Check 'em out at www.angelfoodministries.com.

Lunch for the Girls

Hubby and I recently enrolled our daughter, Kayley, at Girls, Inc. where she spends time with other girls after school and experiences fun-filled field trips on days when her school is not in session. So far, the experience has been a positive one and we continue to be amazed by all that Girls, Inc. does for the young women of this city and country, all without asking much in return.

For each of the last few years, Girls Incorporated of Omaha has hosted a fundraising and awareness luncheon to bring attention and money to their cause. We were incredibly excited to discover that President Bill Clinton will be the keynote speaker at this year's luncheon for the girls. As most of you know, I find him and the work he's doing now inspiring and motivational and I can't help but want to get involved in some way, any way, to further the causes of his foundation and make the world a better place, if not for my generation, for my children. I simply cannot wait to hear all that he has to say.

So... on Saturday, November 11th around lunchtime, you know where we'll be. More info to come after his speech. :)