In Virginia, a woman who adopted her son at the age of 9 is attempting to dissolve the adoption of the boy who is now 15.
According to CNN, "After the youngster molested a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl in 2003, he was deemed a "sexual predator" by psychologists. That meant that if he remained in Briggs' home, she could no longer be a foster parent to others or allow her three grandchildren in her home, so she chose to try to dissolve the adoption."
"You don't want to throw somebody away," said Helen Briggs, a longtime foster mother. "But sometimes you have to."
Sometimes you have to??? No, you don't have to... you choose to. What is this boy supposed to think when his own parents are trying to throw him away after adopting him over 6 years ago? Whatever happened to unconditional parental love? What would she do if one of her biological children were deemed a sexual predator?
I realize others may disagree, but for me:
- No matter what my child does, I will always love him.
- I may not like the behavior of my child, but I will always love her.
- You don't throw away a child because of things they do or don't do.
- You can raise your children the best you can, instilling values and morals. In the end, he has to make his own choices in the world and live with the consequences of those choices.
- Is it sad that this woman's child is a sexual predator? Yes.
- Has the system that should have protected and helped him failed? Yes.
- Did he ask to be beaten? Shuffled from foster home to foster home for the first years of his life? Sexually molested himself? No.
- Can he be helped? I don't know.
- Does he still deserve to be loved? Yes. He is her child. There are no guarantees in life, not even with our children. Shit happens. Deal with it.
3 comments:
Oh, man, what a tragic story. If that boy is a sexual predator, he needs help now more than ever. Cutting him lose will only make things worse.
You're right, there is no walking away from parenting. You're stuck for life, even if you're adopted. Love is more important than blood.
This reminds me of the South Park episode where Cartman's mom wanted to abort him--when he was 5-years-old. The doctors had to tell her that you can't abort a child in the 42nd trimester. Just when you think it's just satire . . .
Maybe this woman has had too many foster kids. She seems to have lost sight of the fact that when you've taken them on as your own, they are your responsibility, no matter what. They're not temporary anymore.
On the other hand, I do sympathize with the fact that she can't have visits from her grandchildren for at least the next three years. That's not cool at all.
:)
What irks me (I live 15 miles from Lorton, VA, btb) is that she got all these awards for adopting and raising what amounts to the "easy" kids. OK, as easy as kids get, we know that it aint easy, but grading on the Bell curve. She admits that she would not have adopted him knowing his background.
Obviously, it was MEANT that she get this child, to help him. I bet that she is "devoutly" religious. So I guess I'll have to hop in the car and drive down and say "God WANTS you to help this boy, so fucking deal with it."
Guess I'll be on CNN afterwards.
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