troubled

My heart is troubled. I seem to have little tolerance for those that are ill or injured or hurting in some way when they are crabby, grumpy, snappish asses. Rant on, troubled heart, rant on.

I understand that you're aching or hurting or sick and perhaps you just don't feel like being a nice person sometimes. But, don't take your shit out on me or others that care for you. I refuse to allow myself to be treated poorly by anyone, even if you feel like crap. Simply because your life might be miserable at the moment doesn't mean that you have to make other people's lives miserable too. Like my mother taught me, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Just keep to your fucking self and leave everyone else alone until you're ready to treat people decently.

Perhaps I am not intolerant of everyone that is ill or injured or hurting, but am of those closest to me. I'm troubled by my feelings because I've given serious thought to working with the terminally ill, dying, sick, oppressed, or downtrodden people of our society. They, no doubt, are likely to be crabby, grumpy, and snappish asses so how do I expect to cope with that? I think they are certainly justified for feeling bitchy, so perhaps I would judge them less harshly. When your life is a piece of shit, I think you have a right to be pissed off at the world or God or yourself. But, are you justified in being shitty to others? I will have to give that one some thought.

When I stay home from work for a fucking week to help take care of the kids so a certain husband doesn't have to, so a certain partner can get his sleep, so a certain man I know can rest and let his hurting back/neck heal and I spend the week wiping poopy asses and picking up toys and half-eaten PB&J sandwiches or catching up on 3 weeks worth of dirty laundry that had piled up, dusting furniture that hadn't been dusted for months, organizing clutter, separating things we can keep from things we can give away, listening to moans and groans and sighs and grunts and complaints, asking throughout the week what it is I can do for you or what you need that I can provide with no response or suggestions or appreciation or thanks, etc., don't fucking snap at me one morning because you feel like shit. Don't snap at your kids because you feel like shit. If you feel like shit, please retreat to your recliner or the bedroom and keep your shittiness to your fucking self until you can treat everyone in your family decently. That is all I ask.