It would seem that my Grandmother has given up the will to live and is ready to leave this world. Grandpa died last year on April 1 and Grandma has simply been broken-hearted since that awful day. Grandpa and Grandma had been married for 74 years and were entirely devoted to one another throughout their lives. When Grandpa died, a big part of Grandma died with him.
Upon hearing the news of her failing health tonight, I immediately wanted to go to her. She lives in a very nice nursing home in Northern Iowa, about 4 hours from here. The nurses are wonderful and have taken exceptional care of Grandma. When talking to my father, I mentioned wanting to make the trip tomorrow. He said, "There is really nothing you can do for her."
"I know that," I replied. "I just want to be with her, I don't want her to die alone." I would want someone there with me in my final moments, I think. How about you? Do you want someone there by your side when your final moment arrives? Or would you rather embark on that journey alone? I suppose I've projected my own feelings onto the rest of the world and assumed that everyone else would want to be with a loved one when the time to die finally arrives. However, perhaps I am wrong.
Still, I want to hold her hand, tell her not to be afraid, tell her I love her, tell her what a remarkable woman she is and remind her of the wonderful life she had with Grandpa and that they'll be together once again very soon. I want to be there to make her final moments happy, to hold her, to make her smile. I want to be there to say goodbye.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Sad Goodbye
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4 comments:
I think it's important to be there, espeically since her husband made the journey before her. Maybe I'm also projecting, but I've always envisioned my ideal passing as being surrounded by my family, especially my husband if he's still there, and my children and grandchildren. I would want them there so I can tell them not to be afraid, and not to be sad, because, as Gandalf said (in the movie, not the book), "death is just another path, one we all must take." I don't fear death. And I think, if your being there would help at all, you should go, for both your sakes. I'm not much with words, but I'll say a prayer for your Grandma, and you and your family, with love.
:)
Thanks, Heather. You're a good friend.
I'm happy to report that Grandma is actually doing better, thankfully. Your prayers must be pretty powerful.
:-)
Glad to hear Grandma is doing better. I was always sad when I lost a grandparent. Not only do you lose a loved one, but it's as if a era has passed.
I have always assumed that I'll die alone. Not sure why. Just a hunch. I've never actually thought about what I would prefer, though. Part of me would like to cross that bridge alone, without being stared at.
However, it would be nice to have my family there (this is all assuming I'll die old and warm in my bed). I guess I would want everyone there, and at the moment of death, they could leave and let me cross that Lonesome Valley alone.
Jimmy, I know what you mean by an era passing... it's very true. Grandparents are so full of great, interesting stories of days gone by and I am amazed when I think about all the events, advances, people, and history my Grandparents have witnessed in their lives. When they go, all of those stories and memories go with them.
Secretly, I've always thought it would be fascinating, wonderful, and awe-inspiring to be with someone who is dying who could describe the process to me... selfish, isn't it? A poor soul is making the big transition to the other side and I'm selfishly wanting to know all the details. I suppose it's general curiosity about the dying process and afterlife, what's waiting for us, etc. that is my motivation.
Sound crazy?
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